Indigo Meow

2011-12-22T18:57:00.001-08:00

FUCK SON OF A BITCH COCKSUCKER BITCHFACE FUCKING SHITHEAD FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUIOSDFJKIFESLJKZX EG FC AASSSDLKADSFFUFUFKCUFKCUFDK UIFIO;FEDJKL/FAEELJK FEJHNK gpod damn fuckfuckfuckfuckASSHOLES OMGFUCKING GOD GOD DAMMIT DONKEY BALLS TO THE FACE FUCKING ASSFACEBITCHNAGGER TURTLE SUCKER GO DIE IN A FIRE FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCDKNLWRDKLJ.GFEILJKZGSJLKIZDSGLJKMGDSX KLSRGFCNJK GJNKMC KNG DAMN RUBBER BAND CHOKING SONG OF A FATTY MUSHROOM INAN ROOM FULL OF DANCING GOLD FISH FUKING A DONKEY WHILE HITTING A PINATA DACING SALSA IN A VOLCANO. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC,CK THIS SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKLDSFLKFSLKJKLJFDSKJLDSKLJE E UHYUJJKLKDJNMKDMJGFR

2011-06-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

WOOPIE!

oh god this is so rushed...

I think brandon patrick, with a greasy baconators in his hands, and saaaause dripping down his mouth: "oh god, it doesn't feel like we graduated!"

YA I KNOW. It feels like the next day i'm going to once again wake up at around 6:45 am, take a shower at 7:00am 'cause i roll around on my parents bed for 15 minutes being a lazy bum, then arrive at school at the active time of 7:30, where i sit alone at the corner waiting for people to show up. I'm just so used to it now! You never really know how much you'll miss a daily routine when you suddenly just stop it.

But allow me tell my life story.

of the last 4 years.

once upon a time....

i entered grade 9 SO SECLUDED. LIKE HOLY CRAP. HONESTLY, i hated talking to strangers. I mostly had to blame it to body-image issues, but heh, i must also blame it on the fact i never really hung out with anybody. And when i was asked to, i usually gave an excuse not to. I remember the 2nd day of grade 9, where i still haven't found my lunch friends yet who i was to hang out with, and was eating fries in the hallways alone like a loser. Then these 2 grade 12's walked past, asking if they had smokes on them, where the other one replied "no man. gotta be quiet, there's some niners here who'll overhear" where they proceeded to rofl while they walked past. I realized 2 things there.

1)IM SO INSIGNIFICANT, OH GOD.

2) I was in a place where i potentially have direct contact with drugs. not that smoking is, but yeah.

Basically, I was friggen scared of what was to come. Aother random memory of grade 9 was at the 3rd(?) day of science class. I sat beside cassandra barbosa, who i never met before in my life. And not only that, she was a girl. Double weakness. So she asks: "oh, do you know how to do this question?" which i replied in all my charm: "No....you should ask the teacher" with my eyes avoiding hers and my face hiding under. Reflecting back, i had a really craptacular social life. I mean sure, i was nice and such, but it was up to the other person to get to know me better.

I remember actually walking into the atrium, and having one word flash in my head in big, bright, bubble letters: PEOPLE.

and yup, there was a arseload of people. hoooly crap. The atrium was full of people i never met, it was actually sort of frightening. Then again, i also thought of how if one were to chuck a grenade down there, it'll be one hell of a multi-kill.

ANYWAYS

grade 9 was okay. The only highlighted moments was

1) meeting brandon y again

2) talking to people i never talked to before in elementary but talked to in grade 9 and

3) meeting new people! LIKE SCOTT BEAR <3<3<3<3

I must say, it definitely helped me get more social!

I actually wrote down some grade 10 stuff on this blog, i almost forgot. thanks to somebody's influence, it took spanish, which freaked half my family out when i told them! It was MUCHO fun though, eh? eh? I definitely broke out of my anti-social shell with the help of my friends and such, especially with the help of one person in paaaarticular. I remember i had 3 classes with her one semester, which was honestly really fun! especially science. Or as mark would say...

SCIIIIENCE!

Grade 11 was sho fun! I don't think i'll ever forget whatever happened, so i'll save my rambling =]

I just know that it was a start of many fun things in my life. THE TIME WHERE I LEARNED TO LET LOOSE, MOTHER F-

and grade 12! Debut, wondergrad, prom, grad. Without a doubt a fun year! ^^

Debut: Hoenstly, those long hours at night every weeek practicing the same thing over and over again, the constant mistakes, the confusion, Gord, the tireness, Gord, cooperating and taking the lead, Gord, and saying how glad i'll be when it's all over. And Gord.

But i do miss them. It was really fun to dance, 'cause it was like....dipping fries in ice cream. A completely new, and rather tasty experience. Thanks michaela for inviting me!

Wondergrad: It's been over 10 years since i went to wonderland! I did not expect to hangout with such a big group too, haha. It was mucho burrito fun. BEHEMOTH, YAAA.

Prom: I unced. Hard. And got drunk...sorta. And puked. And i was sore after. I honestly could not ask for more <33 Vania was a good date too! though being her, it was still funny to see her all prettied up and dancing and such ^^ she was still mean to me as ever though! I shall miss heeer, sad face

Grad: It was long. And hot. And i didn't cry. It was rather unsentimental, really haha. I would be sad...IF MOST OF MY FRIENDS WERENT GOING TO RYERSON/TORONTO. oh geez.

All i can say is, without my friends, it wouldn't have been as great.

And i mean each and every one of them!

Mah bros were always there in school to keep me entertained, and those occasional hangouts with them were so much fun! So different from before, since i used to neeeeeeever go out. I think you could tell the difference from my dropping AR school after each year xD AR could only be done when i had no life, so i'll say it's a fair enough trade off.

Can't forget the girls in my life! It's really odd being the one in the family who talks to girls more than their siblings. I mean, by brother's practically 25 or so, and i dont think he talks to a girl. outside of family. I'm dead serious. There's 1 girl who changed how i am the most! But i shall not go in detail about hime-samaaa, 'cause it would take HOLY CRAAAAP SO LONG and i'm about to leave for vegas, hehe. Like seriously, i wonder how long this post would be if i just wrote about her. Who knows!

Anyways, i'll be seeing most of my close friends in RyHigh! I hope i'll make new friends, there, since my new goal is to extend my grasp, while staying close with my current ones on the other side of campus. If i distance from them, well....NO, SCREW THAT, I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN, HARUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH. It's scarily exciting!

I also realized i never liked anybody for 4 years. I dont really mind being friends with girls instead, despite everybody's criticisms for it, but meh. I'll just go with the flow (mah hand is a dolphin!), and whatever happens, happens.

I'm in no rush.

Well then, IT WAS A BLAST, HIGH SCHOOL. THANKS FOR BEING SO AWESOME AND SCARY AND STRESSFUL! AND THANKS FOR CHANGING ME. I think my old self would be proud of me.

Though that could just be my ego talking 8D

WOOOOOSH, OFF TO VEGAS!

ps: can't wait to jog and do other bodily killing stuff with brandon. having a buddy to do it is so much more motivating, haha.

SAUGA CITY G'Z

i larfed

2011-06-18T00:55:00.000-07:00

Maybe Daily #13 (HOW UNLUCKY)

HOLY MOTHER OF GODDAMMED SHIT MOTHER GODDAMMIT ARGFROGGIN MOTHER'S DIARRHEA DAD'S ARMPIT HAIR'D LLIP BALMING BACK STABBIN BITCHEN KITCHEN GRANDMA'S PUBES EFFIN SON OF A PRAYING MANTIS SHIT HOLES.

WHY

THE

HELL

DID

SLEEP

EARLY?

WHY

I DONT EVEN REMEMBER ME GOING TO SLEEP. IM HONESTLY TRYING TO REMEMBER WHEN, BUT I DON'T.

THIS IS LIKE THE HANGOVER PART 3 BUT I WASN'T DRUNK AND INSTEAD OF HAVING FUN ADVENTURES, I'M HERE IN MY ROOM NAKED WITH SOME GIRL IN MY BED.

oh wait wrong movie.

arg god dammit.

i'm angrrrrrry, moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

BRB, TANTRUM

ahem.

Last day of school!

SO, LET'S SAY MY THOUGHTS:

I am normal. I am not sad. It's not even the last day of school! I'll save all my bawling and QQing for grad. Okay, so i didn't have any PATH kids to say bye

to, i didn't have some special class room that i can no longer visit after today, so i guess i don't really have a reason to be as sad as others.

...

Oh my gosh...

The corner...!

...No wait i'll still be using corner for exams. NVM, NO MOURNING YET.

Day 13

13. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

LOL, wanting myself as a friend? xD

Well of course! I'm charming, caring, witty, strong, handsom

e, atheletic, kind, funny, smart, awesome, legendary, funtastic, smarticle, bi-winning, chinese, girly, and ABOVE ALL....gorgeous.

Eww, why would i wanna have a friend that's just like me? >.>

Pic to sum up day:

OOOOMG, SLEPT SO EARLY, WHAT A WASTED FRIDAY

PS: I think i'm not as sad-days as some people 'cause most of my friends are either going to ryerson or UofT. All except Robert. Which i can live with.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? HOLY CRAAAAAAP.

2011-06-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

STORY OF TRUTH.

Haha i was re-reading this, and i just had to imprint this forever and ever on the internet!

2011-06-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe Daily #iforgotagain

Dear Future Chris,

I just realized i should have made a birthday post. But i guess i was having too much fun to do so.

or i was lazy.

Yeah, that sounds about right =]

So...yeah! you're (i'm) 18 now! I should buy a lottery ticket to celebrate, but apparently only old people win, so i'll wait until i'm old and wrinkly before i do it.

the rose is also doing quite swell, though i do see some brown on the edge of its delicate, luxurious, pristine petals. Oh lordy please dont die Dx

Since white represents innocence, i guess once it di

es, my innocence is then gone too. THE TRAGEDY, OH MAN.

So yeah, my birthday was fun! it was more eventful than my usual birthdays at least. i remember the most eventful thing of my 17th birthday was the fact that melissa hugged me, which was the first she she ever did it! So i'm happy.

Still dont know why vania was mad at me though ha

ha. Maybe its because i didnt answer her back for 2 hours 'cause i forgot to check my phone, or maybe its cause my answer wasn't as intelligent as she thought it would be. But what else can i reply to "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE FEELING, NAOW" Oh vania, sometimes i dont understand you, but i still have to urge to cuddle you sometimes, just because you hate it!

i also bought my corsage, but i dunno if it'll match her dress. HOPEFULLY, 'cause it does not have blue or purple like she wanted! just red. and orange. which is close enough to red >.> Oh and i forgot to see if my tie matches too.

but i should stop worrying so much for now.

i'm also really honestly stuck at what to learn next for guitar. i want to learn barre chords, but it's just so frustrating. Songs are hard too, since it's either really easy, or really hard. Plus, most songs i dont even know, and the ones that i do are on expert mode -.-

I NEED GUIDANCE PLEASE.

What, get a teacher?

LOL WHO NEEDS ONE.

=.=

Day 12

12. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Can't i fusion-hah and become a joyful genius?

or become a nurse joy and avoid it altogether?

But if i had to choose, joyful simpleton. I honestly rather have fun, live a simple life and such and such, instead of being SUPER, uber smart. I'll let the asians do that.

oh wait...

Pic to sum up day:

l.o.l

ps: DANCING. IS. SO. FREAKING. TIRING. GOD FUUUUING.

2011-06-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

im angry i cannot find a gif i need to make a (un) funny joke.

therefore, i shall hold off posting what i wanted to till later.

as a something else, IM GONNA LEARN HARE HARE YUKAI, AND IM GONNA DANCE.

DANCE MOTHERFUCKER, DANCE.

IN DA SCHOOL.

IN DA CAFF.

IN THE STREETS.

IN DA HOOD.

IN DA....VAGINA.

IN DA EVERYWHERE.

then i shall be labeled as "swag" and i will swag up the world with my excess swag that i'll be sweating.

2011-06-02T19:47:00.001-07:00

Maybe Daily #11

i think...

Dear Future C- *YAAAAWN*,

oh sorry, i'm just so tired form excessive napping. i thi

nk i'll just sleep right now since i slept late and woke

up early.

Oh god i got bed hair.

So apparantly, i may have a minor case of slight sunburn on my face. That for it just enjoys being red from overexposure of sun. See, this is why i don't go outside -.- IT HURTS MY BEAUTIFUL FACE, OH LORDY.Oh well, it was worth it just to skip class. I was a major help in the ball hockey tourney anyways. For god's sake, i spent 4 dollars on freezes, i mean C'MON i was their best customer Dx

I forgot what i was gonna say next...my mind's like imploding right now.

Anyways, i guess i should go study for calc by sleepin

g or something! i wonder if you cans till drop out of courses, 'cause i swear dillon just did a few days ago. But then i'll be ditching vania...

OR, i can drop out, and for my spare, visit the calc classto keep her company!MA, MA, I'M A GENIUS!I should really get on talking to my guidan

ce counsellor, it's been like 2 weeks since i said i would.

But yup, since calculus no longer matters (which is ironic since i spent so much money on extra calc clases on saturday), i'm just gonna most likely read over my notes in the morning, and wing it. Life's good when you no longer have to try for a class you hate!

Wooooo, PARTYING PARTYING YAAAAAAAAA

Damn, where's that gif of that awkward girl dancing from that friday video :(

day 11

11. Are you holding onto something you need to let

go of?

...what the sexual connotation?

but uhm, i don't think so. Other than my p-

NO, BAD CHRIS.

Yeah, nothing really stand out. Neither a person, obje

ct or uhm...anything else stand out in my mind that fit that. Other than my p-

NO, BAD.

>.>

Pic to sum up day:

Terri's kitten. PLOTTING MY PLAN TO STEAL IT

PS: brandon and i joined a SC2 tourney. If we get casted by husky and/or day9, im gonna laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf so hard hahah

2011-06-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

TESTING.

Looks like gifs work!

2011-05-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

Maybe Daily Diez (Spanish, sexy-mexi, ay yai yai)

Dear Future Chris,

2 notable things today:

1) I read my Osama the wizard story to the class. It was going SWELL at the serious parts, but once i reached the part wher ei introduced him as a wizard, i larfed. i larfed SO hard, i nearly died. I started larfing so hard at once points i was nearly about to just stop it right there and end it from how retarded this all sounded. So i did the only logical ting and said "this is retarded".

SELLING MOVIE RIGHTS TO THIS!

2) i learned Clocks by Coldplay! I like this song 'cause it has a smex intro. It was pretty easy to learn, who would've thought? I just played this alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day. It's tune makes my pee pee go DOING DOING DOING.

Also beasted my english essay, which i think is the worst essay i wrote evar. But i always say that and i always end up getting like 85-90. GUESS THAT'S HOW SMART I AM, MUHAHA ;]

Day 10

10. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

uhm, talk to more people i never talked to before and therefore meet new people. OR talking to them first. Only thing holding me back is my constant fear that i won't know what to say after the initial "HI" or have nothing to talk about and thus be llamas all day eeryday. But that can be easily fixed, just gotta take the lead!

I AM CHRIS-EXCLAIMATION MARK YOGNAUGHT, AND I HAVE THE BALLS!

Pic to sum up day:

Maybe Daily blog #1

2011-04-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe Daily Blog #1

My excuse to write daily: in case i get Alzheimer.

Dear Future Chris,

Today is good friday, and while it may be good for other people, it has been terrible for me.

Maybe terrible isn't the right word. more like UNEVENTFUL

All i did was literally play guitar once i woke up, go on the maaaany random boredom sites i have...and eat...and computer...and guitar...and computer...holy god.

I am just not feeling peppy at all today.

On the bright side, It's been a little over a week an

niversary since i got my guitar, and i'm already learning songs. I can remember so clearly struggling the first day i was trying to learn my first chord and struggling on it simply because my fingers were like old men, unable to arc and bend to avoid touching other strings. Now they're like...young acrobats, all flexible and hot-looking! (acrobats are hot, right?)

Songs i know: knockin on heaven's door by Bob Dylan/Red Hot Chili Peppers

Time of your life by Green Day

Fun fun! Needa work on my chord changing speed though, so it's not like some relapse/stuttering version of songs, hurhur.

Tomorrow's bound to be more eventful, since the dress rehersal's at 10 am (...really now?) to noon and i'm going out with the vals group at 6 again. Rob's freakin' excited haha. Hope she likes the gift *crosses fingers* Though her boyfriend already gave her a hogwarts letter, so Rob got foiled once again by him. loool so bad.

And my brother keeps saying not to go to Ryerson. Sorry, bro, if no other schools accept me, that's where i'm going.

DEAL.

WITH.

IT.

Stop making decisions for me.

Also, if i'm gonna keep this going, might as well keep myself entertained.

30 DAY CHALLENGE, HURRUH.

30 DAY INTROSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

This challenge is all about you: your values, your beliefs, your true ess

ence. Answer the questions thoughtfully and truthfully in order to gain a greater understanding of who you really are.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?3. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
4. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
5. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
6. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
7. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
8. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
9. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
10. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
11. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
12. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
13. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?14. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
15. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
16. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
17. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
18. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
19. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
20. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
21. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?22. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
23. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
24. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
25. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years t

o become extremely attractive or famous?
26. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
27. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
28. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
29. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge

you?
30. Have you learned more about yourself by answering these questions the past 30 days?

Yeah, everything else was like "PICTURE CHALLENGE

" so i was like "CHALLENGE NOT ACCEPTED" cause i'm not camhoe enough to do so.

So...

1. I'll be 21. Legal enough for everything, young enough to still be swag. But i would always be swag no matter age, right? Right..? ...hello...? =[

Pic to sum up my day:

Sad day. Or uneventful day. Either or works.

Ps: Siiigh.

2011-04-15T23:05:00.001-07:00

OH HARRO ,SELF FROM 2 YEARS AGO.

been awhile!

A lot of things have, past chris.

Here are a few examples:

-MY HAIR IS FLAT, OH EFFING BABY IN A GOLDEN DIAPER, INCASED IN DIAMOND THAT'S BURIED DEEP INTO THE MOON.

- I quit AR. *solemn and silent*

-I r guitar player.

-I suck at said guitar.

-I play der RO again. True story.

-My estrogen levels have increased tenfold, YAAAAAAAY

-My baby voice have gotten better. Thank you, girl who trained me! =]

-I r about to graduate. I am pleased.

-I have lots of homework and i procrastinate. I am displeased.

-I am asian still. QUEHUBLE, NEGRO.

-I am more social. NOT GOOD ENOUGH, NEED BE MORE.

-I am now suave, sexy, and expelling copious amounts swag from me.

-The above may or may not be exagerrated.

-I would like to believe it is not.

-However it may as well be.

-I am now sad.

-WHY CANNOT I NOT HAVE SWAG? WILLING TO TRADE SWAG FOR ANYTHING.

(Like my body ;D Oh i'm sorry! my insurance does not cover your mind exploding just now.)

K BYE.

In summary of the last 2 years:

I be rockin' and stalkin'

2009-05-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

HAIL.

As you may or may not know, i love to read. Especially if there’s a reward for doing it. And that’s the exact reason why i chose to “compete” to obtain the best AR points. Unfortunately, due to several events that happened this year, I couldn’t do it. Sure there’s time, but unless I can slow down time or stop it completely (which by then I would use that ability in a more…less appropriate way), I don’t have the time or the organization skills to balance speed reading with my academics. So, I respectfully forfeit my effort(* insert Arnold Schesomething voice* but I’ll be back) to both preserve material for next years attempt, and to also save myself from wasting my time. I only regret losing Les Miserables and The Stand this year in terms of points. Oh well, there will be other ones out there like them. And like all respectful men out there, I shall reminisce about my experiences in a narrative. With an…artistic license…to exaggerate a bit ,of course. Too lazy to read over, so:

WARNING WARNING BAD GRAMMAR WITH THE ADDITION OF POTENTIAL MISSPELLINGS ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

The first 2 weeks of high school passed like a screamer video. It scared you at first, but the more you look back at it, the less frightening and it seemed. Of course, being the passive guy, I didn’t really make too many new friends. But why am I telling you about that? What is this, my life story? Anyways, I sorta knew what this so-called “AR” was, but I pretty much ignored it for awhile. Even the AR explanation session by the librarian failed to attract my attention.

As I don’t remember what he said at that meeting, I shall write something that I believe to accurate sum up what he said.

“Books, books, books!! CHILDREN, KIDS, TEENS: BOOKS are what keeps the world turning around and around and around! You see, without books, you won’t be here right now. Be honest know, how many of you learned how to make SWEET, LOVELY love from the Family Life textBOOK?? I sure did! I mean without it, I would have been like: ‘TWO holes? TWO? Should I like….flip a coin or something? Should I ask her? No, that would make me look like a virgin. Which hole…which hole…Top or bottom...top or bottom...seriously…TWO HOLES?WHY IS THE FEMALE ANATOMY SO DIFFICULT?!’. How do you think your mom and dad learned it? Your mom’s mom or your dad’s dad?? Demonstrations? NUH UH GURL-FRIEND! So, what’s AR you ask? What a RI-DI-CU-LOUS question! You see this book with this sticker? THAT’S AR! It’s logic. Small books, small points. Big books, big points. Then there are books like Little Women. I feel sory whoever fell into THAT trap! If you’re an overachiever(and who isn’t?) you can go up and beyond and go on the…TOP 10 LIST! FIRST PALCE GETS THE…..PUUUURPLE IIIIIIIIPOD….shuffle! Why purple? Because Jaguars are, and we ARE Jaguars. Watch….RAWR IMA EAT YOU! You see? That concludes this meeting. I am now open for questions.”

Yes, that’s how it went. Anyways, I already had a ipod, and it was working fine. Besides, who wants a shuffle? So time passed. I passed time at home with games and TV, like all qualified couch potatoes do. One month, one and half…and I decided I held of AR for long enough. Now I can’t really explain which drew me to the Stephen King shelf. His reputation? Fate? Or was it because the last name ‘King’ was so FRICKEN awesome? Who knows. I just know that the first book I read by him, Needful Things ,changed the way I saw books forever (okay, so I first read time him during the summer of 07/08 and the first book I read by him was actually Dark Half but Needful Things was one of my fave =[)

And so I read. Day after day, week after week, haunting images of murder, gore, mutilated body parts, and above all, children being brutally massacred and eaten by humans and/or demons or some sort (I <3>th. I was still about 150 points behind the 1^st place (which was, Fatima coincidently). As time went on, my trusty friend Stephen King never failed me make me ‘wow’ or ‘ohh’ or ‘ahh’ or ‘OH GOD HIS HEAD! HIS DAMN HEAD!’ Sure I read other books, but they were always less interesting. Eventually, the end of the year came. And that meant assignments and gayness galore. But still, I trudged on, usually reading until 1 in the morning or something. At this point, Fatima, this grade 11 guy and I were battling for 1^st. Unfortunately, Fatima dropped out of this furious (but rather pointless) battle for glory. I reached 300 points. 350. 380. And eventually, that grade 11 guy dropped out too. I was, as they say, flying solo.

The only enemy here was my conscious, telling me I can’t do it anymore. But I continued reading relentlessly. It was the week before exams. I had on more book in my hand that I dared to read last minute. The Shining. Page after godamn page I flipped in the seemingly endless book, but I finished it. I scored perfect on the test (to my surprise since I kinda rushed it), which brought my final score to….437-points-some odd number. A SCHOOL RECORD! As AR awards day came, I had the glory of hearning my name on the announcements (no seriously, that’s a first), had the glory of hearing about my heroic efforts in AR, and hearing how I got the record and how my name will be on the plaque of nerdiness for all eternity. Needless to say I picked the Shuffle as my prize (with great regret as the Tit and Ass (honestly, WHAT a name) looked amazing) and shared my glory with my fellow classmates and friends. I think my picture was on the school website at one point but I never checked. Anywas, exams came and went and summer was here. I pretty much lost my shuffle a few days later (its found now. Too lazy to recharge) and I was getting pumped up already for next years attempt at AR.

Then the horror came. As I had English 2^nd semester, I watched as some grade 11 (WHY IS IT ALWAYS A GRADE 11?) soared through the points and landed a rather epic 500.8 points. That son of a motherkisser broke my record. He shattered my glory. He took away all I was proud for. That meanie.

Since I think I took more than enough page room, i’ll stop. FOR NOW, MU HA. HA. Really, I think I over typed for my grade 9 experience for AR. There’s still grade 10...if i ever feel like expressing my inner feelings once again.

No seriously, what an ass for beating my record. What. an. ass.

2009-04-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

OKAY

It's time to explain something i should have explained a long long long long time ago. Though it's pretty hard to explain it in (speaking)words so i guess a long long long long time ago wouldn't have worked. But either way, it's time to explain this. This is... THE (very brief and pointless) PSYCHOLOGY OF ME, THE CONTRIBUTOR.

Depending on what rock you live under, you may or may not have heard i'm trying to beat the record for AR (Doing pretty crap, by the way). Many, and when i say that i mean approximately 11 or 12 people, have asked me "how do you read so much?" or simply "Go outside or something, JEEZ!", to which i answer with this: ".........*shrugs*". The answer is simple. I treat books as my personal friend and mistress. When i'm lonley (which, surprisingly enough, is rarely ever), i read. When i'm nercous, i read. When i'm excited, i read(or play Guitar Hero, either one works, really), etc etc. All books offer is a great source of imagination. They don't criticize you when you imagine the characters wrong, they don't yell at you when you read slow, and they don't pressure me into into buying the latest designer clothes. They're just there. To keep a long story short: i read a lot Because. Oh, and I treat them tenderly like i would treat my girl. Very roughly with a lot of spanking.

Also depending on what rock you live under, you may or may not know i have an older brother. I mean like, OLDER brother. And it's because of him i act how i do. Unlike most kids who pull a 'sea-monkey do, I do' or however that went, i learn from him. You see, If you ask me to describe my brother in one word when i was a kid, it would probably be Bitch. He was just...plain bitchy. He did what most older siblings did to younger siblings. Shove shove, push push, punch punch, rape rape, touch touch, 1000 years of pain, etc. So basically i vowed not to be like him. Not to be selfish and picky (he's friggen picky. I mean PICKY. LIKE PICKY. AS PICKY AS GORDON RAMSEY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN) and much less bitchy and whiny. As a result, i barely get angry at anything. I CARE, but i just don't care enough to get ANGRY and do something about it. That'll proably kill a few people one day now that i think about it. Like when i see a bomb in a building, and then i'll just be like "meh, they'll will respawn".
He litterally whines about anything. From something dusty going on his bed to bitching about a slightly dirty plate. It might be just me, but i barely give a crap about anything minor like that. Now if somebody asks me to describe myself, i'll probably not be able to do a good job. It's just too hard to do something like that. I'll just be like "uhh...i'm ignorant and naive. very, very, very ignorant and naive. I pick my ass and i eat what's on my finger after, too" just to screw with them. My brother's friend also mentioned how people are more open if they had a sister for a sibling and how more closed they you would be if their thad a brother. I wish i had a sister for a change. Then again, i could easily tell my life story and my personal choices if i really wanted to, (everybody would just get bored 1/3 of the way through), so i consider myself open already. I wonder how i would act if i was a only child too. Would i get spoiled if i was? It sounds lonely. Or maybe you would get used to it. Meh, maybe i'll ask Maid. Maybe not.

And one more brief life story before i begin to sound redundant. Unless i already do, then HA for reading this very....WORD. So, depending on which class you're in, you may or may not know i do not like to ask questions or answer a question. It's not because i may ask a stupid question, but it's because i may ask such a simple question the teacher or whoever will get pissed about how i can't grasp the concept of the subject(and i have seen that. Many times *coughmarkwanghackcough*. As for answering a quesiton, i have a phobia about getting something wrong. Nothing big, but it's there. I think it came from my childhood when my dad litterally yelled at me for not remembering the times table. And i mean, he YELLED and was PISSED. Then there was the time when i was also a child when we spent 3 or 4 hours doing Saturday math homework, and he hit me like 3 times on the head because i answered wrong. "Damn, Daddy, can i hit you with a baseball bat now?" i almost said that time.
I don't get why he was so angry either. Does he just like being smarter then a child? Well, either way, he's a little dim and slow now, but....yeah. I can't blame it on his age, can i? So now i'm afraid when i answer wrong, the teacher will laugh and/or yell at me and/or hit me on the head.

MISC.

So, there's this cat in my backyard which i've seen very often lately. Black fur. Green eyes, looks well fed. My grandma says she seen it quite often lately.
I think somebody lost it.
But it looked at me a few times when i stared at it like how i stare at other girls. Very...creepishly i guess because he ran away when i did that. Dammit.

As you may or may not know, i've beem taking drawing lessons for the past 7 or 8 years. I don't seem to draw well in school because i suck at
1) drawing from my imagination and
2) sketching
So what do i learn in drawing then? Well, i sketched, but i needed a lot of help. I gained mostly paint and colouring skills there since those are the best part after the sketching. Anyways, my house is full of my drawings hanging on the wall (courtesy of my mom) and whenever a perticularly good one is up (which is like 4 out of....OVER 10), my relatives, always, ALWAYS ask m to draw soemthing for them. And since my new picture which i broguht home this week, 3 or 4 relatives have asked me to draw something for them. That's not including the other 6 or whatever who asked me to do the same in the past. DAMMIT, STOP ASKING ME. I HAVE A WAITING LIST ALREADY, SO UNLESS YOU WANNA WAIT 10 YEARS OR SO TO GET YOUR DAMN PICTURE(because i never draw at home surprisingly) THEN FINE BY ME, BUT GOOD LUCK.

I need to actually read War and Peace instead of procrastinating with games and other stuff. I'll NEVER beat that 500 point dude if i don't get to it.

I feel like petting a cat now.

Run to the hills is officially stuck in my head.

RUN TO THE HILLS....DUM DUM DUM, DUM DUM DUM
RUN FOOR YOUR LIIIFE, DUMDUMDUMDUM
RUN TO THE HIIILSSS, DUM DUM DUM, DUM DUM DUM,
RUUN FOR YOUR LIIIIFE
*GUITAR SOLO*
*BASS GUITAR RIFF*

2009-03-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

After 1 grueling week of hardcore reading of epic proportions, i'm finally done les miserables
i've slept for 5 hours a day this past week, and finally, finally, FINALLY, i'm done. Was it a good book? Chyeah it was. Except for the political, religious, epic setting detailing that makes up 1/3 of the book's length, it was pretty....exhilarating? A lot of side stories too. And i mean, A LOOOOOOOOOOT. And they come together pretty nicely. Pretty nicely indeed.
Now my favourte character in literature is Jean Valjean(remember to rponounce it like a French man). The way he changed was pretty awesome. A convinct turned rich dude who gives away money. I wanna be like that no! Minus the convict part. Cosette would be second i guess, but she became too absorbed in her beauty during the second half, which kinda put me off. In the end, it was pretty legendary to say the least. Maybe if i didn't ruch my famn hary ass to finish it, i would appreciate the message more, but i'll have to read it sometime in the future. If i were to rate it, it was be 33/34. Deserves a read...when you're older if you don't want to end up reading it twice like i will.

As for the AR test for that book, i basically Asian failed it. Got 4 wrong out of 20. Damn first few questions; those questions were a "one or another" questions, where 2 of those 4 things happened in the book, but which one is the answer to the question?
in the end, i got 84/105 points. 21 points lost. Fucking hell (insert head banding on desk). Oh well, i'll regain my composture when i finish my next bok during the March break.

Oh, like 9999 people asked me how i have the patcience to read such a book as Les MiserablesI own YOU at competitive reading.

Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, Jean Valjean, Cosette, Marius, and all the other supporting characters, i salute thee.

2009-03-06T20:48:00.001-08:00

Can't think of anything right now, so enjoy Final Fantasy V: Clash on the Big Bridge by Tsuyoshi Sekito, Kenichiro Fukui. It's a mouthful, i know.
Ain't it o epic? no? fine, be like that.

i'll remove it sometime during the weekend. SO I EXPECT YOU TO REPLAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS OR SO.

2009-02-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

"36, GET 36!!!!
"NOOOO" she cried. "I. CAN'T. FIND. IT!!!"

The following takes place between 11PM and 12:20PM

Same shit, different day. that was my motto, and that is how i thought of life. SSDD. And to prove it, i made my way to the 2nd floor, once again. But little did i know, this day was going to be different. VERY different.

As i sat down at my desk, I waited for my two friends to arrive; Wang(don't make fun of him, now) and Go. When they arrived, i greeted them. "Wang, what's up?"
"I've been in the can" he said.
"damn"
Then to Go, "Go, go to your seat before i go and make you take the GO train. Go, dammit, go!"
She just looked at me weirdly. Guess i better prepare for the lesson. The teacher soon arrived, bringing containers of some sort. She set it down, and i noticed that there was some bits of colored scrap paper inside. Pink, green, blue, and yellow. I was naturally curious, and i sat up with utmost attention; ears open, and eye-glasses clean.
"This", she held up the first container, blue and yellow, "is the meaning of all life, the knowledge of all knowledge. Inside each and every one of these slips contain questions of life. Your task is to solve them. And inside here," she held up the container with red and green "is the truth about God, the truth about all life on earth. The most the other class got was 47 questions done out of 60. You must answer it on this sheet. It will be marked. Groups up to 4. chop chop." Scrambling was from all over the room. I looked at Wang in front me and he looked back at me. we stared at each other deep into our eyes for a full 10 seconds. Then he nodded. "Okay, i'll go out with you"
"Awesome ma- WAIT, i just wanted you in my group, Wang."
"Oh, you should've just said so. can i stare at your eyes again?" Ignoring him, i looked behind me, where Go sat. "Come on over!"i said
"Eww, i don't want to be near Wang."
"Fine, you can work alone then"
"No wait, wait, I'm too stu- i mean i'll feel lonely! I'm coming" Satisfied, i turned back to Wang who was still staring deeply at me. "Go get the sheet, dammit" He go up, and went to get it. Go then arrived beside me. Then somebody else also came beside me. Somebody....new. A female. I looked up. "Oh, it's you Chow" (buying->better pun. Pretty sure that's not how you pronounce her last name. Just like how Pho isn't "Foe". Damn Viet pronunciation.)
"I need notes from when i was away," she looked at Go "I'll join your group so i can copy while i help" And thus: CHOW HAS JOINED OUR PARTY.

11:10 PM.
It was time. The teacher held up a 9mm pistol over her head. "ON THE COUNT OF 3.14. 3.14, 2.14, 1.14, 0.14, 0.0, GO" She shot at the ceiling, plaster falling to the ground. Everybody looked at Go. "NO, I MEAN YOU CAN COME HERE AND BEGIN!" And begin they did. Go, our runner, sprinted up to retrieve a question slip. Wang had his pencil a millimeter away from the paper, getting ready to write at moment's notice. Chow was scribblin' notes on her paper. The front desk was full of other runners like Go, but miraculously, she came out alive and well, holding a blue piece of paper. "GO, GO, GO" Wang yelled. She returned. It was number 25 out of 60(random number, forgot real ones). "Okay, let's do this guyz," Wang continued, "NaO2PO4+UNG4WF3-->WWW+Li+COM. EAZY" And in lighting speed, his hand went to a blur and wrote the answer. "Go, Go, go, check it!" Go ran up again and shoved the paper in front of our PATH student. There was a whole group of them in there, unfortunately. "FIGHT, GO! HIT THEM, KICK THEM! AIM FOR FAMILY JEWELS" She came back with some circly writing in red pen beside the question, which i assumed was the PATH student's signature. "it's right!" she screeched.
He raised his forearm in front of him, elbows bent, fist pointed upwards. "YEAHHH"

11:30PM
This continued for some time, Go being the runner, getting questions, Wang answering them in the speed of light, Chow scribbling notes, and me...just motivating. The next question was "Name this type of reaction: D2+G2+E2+D-->Be+Be"
"OH OH, I KNOW! DOUBLE DISPLACEMENT!" i yelled.
"WRONG ANSWER" yelled Wang. "it's SYNTHESIS. This is eazy" He raised his forearm in front of him, elbows bent, fist pointed upwards. " i can TANK this myself. YEAHHHHH"
The groups around us told us to chill. Of course, Wang was on fire, and it was infectious. Go ran with all her girly might, Chow wrote her missed note with all her girly...uhh...writing skills, and I, I was just....uhm...there to, you know...i was just there.

11:45PM

Things were definitely getting heated up now. Chow finished her scribbling, Wang was tanking through those question ("i can tank this myself!"), Go was getting all hot and sweaty form her running, and i was just motivating. But things were different. Everybody was getting tense. We were just half done, and there were 30 questions to go. Wang was getting agitated. "FASTER, FASTER, WHY AREN'T YOU GOING FASTER?"
"I'm getting tired" cried Go.
I stood up, eyes flaring. "YOU GOTTA TRY HARDER!! WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER? A 90% or a 100%?"
"A 90%!"
"what? why?"
"You see, a 100% would be too large a number, so my dad, even though he's the coolest dad in the world because he plays games unlike 80% of other dads and he can beat the crap out of people he does not approve *coughdumplingcough* will think I'm cheating and will thus he will kick me out of the house and i will have to move with Dumpling but that would mean that we would get tired of each other so we would split apart from each other and thus my life would be ruined."
"gosh, that's deep"

12PM

Wang hit the desk with his palm. It created tremors so large that my inner organs shivered with fear. "WE'RE NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH. THEY'RE BEATING US" here he pointed to the general left direction.
"GEEZ" Go sighed. "I'm TIRED. I'm sweating more than fat kids in a fat camp"
"How about we move up into the desks right up in the front?" I suggested. "We'll decrease our time by a HUGE AMOUNT. Or how about this: Go stands at the desk, Wang does the work, and he hands it to me. Then i hand it to Go! It'll be like an assembly line in a labour intensive factory!"
"YES, THEN WE CAN HAVE MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY" Wang cried. He stressed every syllable of "maximum".
"OKAY,LET'S DO IT" Go exclaimed.
"jks, jks" said Wang "That's RIDI-CULOUS"
So while Go was once again running back and forth with questions("It's hard to find a question we never did!") and Wang TANKING them ("YEAHHHH" he said with a raised forearm in front of him, elbows bent, fist pointed upwards after each one was correct), Chow and me was just chatting. Yes, we were really unproductive, but they had it covered. "So, how's your love life" she asked
"You know, a 'lil bit of this, a 'lil bit of that. A steady relationship, you know, publicly making out in front of history teachers, holding hands in hallways, and of course, making love like two bitches in heat."
"Nice nice. You ever use protection?"
"Protect-wa?"
I kid, I kid, it was just normal small talk. like "What do you think of the economy?" or "Do you think Obama will fix our global problems?" See? small talk.
Then Go brought a balancing question. Easy i thought. i said the answer (2, blank, 2) Go said the same answer. MILLISECONDS quicker. She grabbed my with her fingers(palms under chin, like somebody trying to force their mouth open) and said "HA, I'm faster now. I was in shock. I was thinking about how to get revenge. A slap on the ass? Nah, to controversial. A kiss on the cheek? Nah, too out of context. Pantsing her? Yeah...i always wondered what colour her-
but my thought process was interrupted with a new science question.
Go brought back a "what type of reaction is this" question. I knew this, i KNEW IT. "DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT" I shouted with all my might.
"WRONG" they all said. Then Go brought back another question (number 4). And even before she opened it it, i knew. I KNEW. Could FEEL it in my heart. "DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT!" I screeched. "WRONG" they all said. And on and on i repeated that. One glance at a question, and i shouted the same two words ("DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT"). Even if it was just a balancing question, i knew a question like that will pop up eventually. A balancing question (DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT), 2 more balancing ones (DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT), a "name each element and state how many atoms are in each" question (DOUBLE DEPLACEMENT), and finally, sweet Jesus, FINALLY, a "What reaction is this". My time was here. MY time was FINALLY here. Once i saw those words, time slowed. Yes, 2 elements switched with each other. The two boyfriends switched girlfriends with each other, forming 2 new molecules. It was really, finally -
"DOUBLE DISPLACEMENT!!!!!" I screamed. Everybody looked at me, my face full of triumph. I had both arms raised in victory.
"Actually, it's combustion"
I fainted.

12:15PM

We were finally nearing the last 4 question. 36, 16 and 43, and 9 were missing. But the search was futile. Go couldn't find it, no matter how hard she looked. "SWITCH RUNNERS" i said. Instead of switching we all ran up. "Hey hey, only 1 group member at a time up here" The PATH student said.
"We aren't in groups" i said with my best "I love you voice" and with my best 'puppy' eyes.
Mr. PATH blushed "Oh. Carry on."
We all gave up, and Chow was trusted the runner job. She searched, though each search was fruitless. Finally, she came back, all smiles. "I GOT ONE! I got 9!" We all looked at the sheet. It WAS a nine. but the question was backwards. It was only a -
"6", the 3 of us said.
"43, i got a 43!" You guessed it, it was only a 34. Until finally, good God, a 43. I just chatted it up with Chow until she had to go get a new question. Small talk, trust me. Like, MINUSCULE talk. And finally, she had to go get either a 16 or a 36, after of course, Wang's customary YEAHHH. But she was having trouble. And we only had 3 minutes left by this time.
"Crap, I can't find 16!" she cried.
"Keep looking, I said. Somebody must have it. This was...S-A-B-O-T-A-G-E.
2 minutes.
"36, GET 36!!" Wang cried.
"NOOOO" she cried. "I. CAN'T. FIND. IT!!!"
"Go up and look, Go!" I cried. The original runner went up to assist her in her futile search. "IT'S NOT UP HERE", she cried. Just then, the teacher came back.
"We need 2 more!" Wang cried. The teacher's eyes flared. She looked at the class, and with a booming voice,
"WHO. THE. BLOODY. HELL. HAS 16. or 36, either one works." Nobody answered. And it was too late. The bell rang

12:20PM - Epilogue

Somebody kept it, that was the only answer. We handed in the sheet. 2 questions missing. We...we were an utter failure. Tears rolled down Wang's face. Then tears rolled down Go's, then Chow's, then mine. We then group hugged. "It's okay, guys, it's okay." i whispered.
"Yeah, we...were close, guys. Close." He raised his forearm in front of him, elbows bent, fist pointed upwards. We all imitated him. Our arms were different length, but the meaning was the same. At the very moment, we weren't just four separate entities, we were one. We... were winners.
And just like that, we walked out the door, savoring our defeat. But also, savoring our victory.

Afterword:

First of all, i never meant to insult Go's intelligence somewhere at the beginning, where i almost made her say she was stupid. It was all just to...create the mood.
Second, i had trouble writing this, so if you find some of the humour in here a bit dry, its because i couldn't think of anything better.
third, for those still wondering, "Chow" is supposed to be Chau. Clearly, i couldn't find a better pun, so i had to use that. Also, i doubt that's how you even pronounce her last name.
Fourth, DAMN THOSE PEOPLE HOLDING ON TO 36 AND 16. DAMN THEM.
WE WERE CLOSE, GUYS, WE WERE SO CLOSE
Fifth, I have 63/1000 points so far. After this 41 point book, i'll have 104. Then i plan on reading Les Miserables or whatever it's called. 101 points. that's 206. Then i saw a 100 point steven king book, so that's approximately 306. *sigh*, i have a tough road ahead of me.

2009-02-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

i barely spent any time at home during valentine's weekend. And of course, i found no valentines...i know, i know, a cool guy like me could get any girl anytime i want, right? well, you're very wrong. Oh so wrong. What made you think that? geez, you're so dumb.

Anyways, on Saturday, we(as in family) just did hot pot. No, not in some chocolaty soup, just in soup. that's it. no chocolates or flowers or candles or sex. Just hot pot. Screw Valentines. On Sunday, we dropped off my grandma to my cousins house, since my Aunt has breast cancer. (GET WELL SOON. I mean it this time) So that means i'm gonna be home alone for about 3 1/2 hours every day for about a month or more. Yes, I can bring fridge raiding to the next level! Though i gotta cook rice and or side-dishes, but meh. Small price to pay for infinite amount of food. Then on money, i totally forgot what i did. So in place of my tiresome summary of my tiresome day, i think i'll tell you a story that will definately fit the theme of Valentines. This is....the story of my first kiss. No really, you don't have some sort of eye cancer.

So, I was probably around...uhm..whatever age you are at grade 3 or 4. The year started off good, and soon enough, the reading buddy program began. We were suppsoed to teach kindergarden kids to read. And that's where i met him. I was assigned to some kid whos name was...uhm...James...?...or...Jones....or..John?...no...JONATHAN. Yes, it was Jonatan. He was a Hispanic kid and he was short. Has hair, and i guess he liked to sleep because he never stayed up when i read to him. Is my voice that boring when i read? Soon after, we both started a mutual relationship. I read to him, he slept. I laughed, he slept. I wake him up, he slapped me. Ahh, how lovely. Really though, he wasn't a bad kid. Moving along, we were about half way through the year when that fateful day came. We go on the same bus (hell, we lived on the same street), so i sometimes sat beside him because we were best pals. On this day, i once again sat beside him. We were talking about some stupid things, and 3/4 home, i totally ran out of things to say. Since i figured it ws almost time to leave, i just remained quiet. Then he called me.

"Chris", he said, in his most sensual voice. "Chris"
So i turned around and face him. And the next thing i know, PLOMP. His lips met mine. At first, i just felt a wet something. And just like a jigsaw puzzle coming together, i slowly realize he was kissing me. And so i kissed back. sensuously, slowly, passionatly. And when i say that, i mean he just WET-kissed me. And before i knew it, the wet-feeling was gone. And litterly, my mouth was hanging wide open. All i could say was..."...hey,.don't do that..." while my mind was going "WTF JUST HAPPENED". He just laughed. And that was that. in grade 1, he was no longer my reading buddy, and i basically never sat beside him ever again once he was in grade 1.

So in summary, i was exposed to what a kiss was like. Just a sloppy, wet feeling on your lips. What a jip.

To celebrate (late) Valentines, i figured we could all use a Valentine's song. Indian Thriller anyone?

2009-02-06T14:41:00.000-08:00

Friday, Feb....when report cards were handed out.

It was 9:30 AM. My Civics teacher was handing our report card. I waited, nervous, muttering encouragement under my breath. Hoping, no, praying that my marks were good. The teacher went through the "G's", then the "H's". Minute after minute, i watched students approach the teacher and receive their marks. Some 'whooped', while others looked saddened by what they saw. "Dear God, please let me have good marks", i muttered. Finally, he called me. I stepped towards him and reached out my hand to receive the paper. I closed my eyes for a second, gathering my courage. Then i looked at the numbers. History, 80. Oh well, i knew i did pretty bad on the exam. Religion, 92. The most pointless class ever, so i merely ignored it. Spanish, 81. Not bad. But not that good either. Maldito. Then finally, i reached the subject that was on my mind all day. Math. I slowly scanned my eyes to the right. I saw a '6'. Oh god. oh my god. Then i saw a '8'. A...68. Oh god. oh shit. oh crap. oh hell. oh FUCK. I closed my eyes in half shock. I knew i didn't do homework, and i said i would do better. I knew i didn't pay attention to class, and i said i would do better. I knew i didn't study for tests that much, and i said i would do better. But time is up. And i payed the consequences. The world around me became bleary, dull, and the sound around me became muffled. a 68 in math....68 math....68....6....8...

Before i knew it, i was standing in front of my 2nd period class. I took my seat, and pretended to pay attention. Time whizzed by as i sat there thinking about nothing in particular. Just like that, class was over. 3rd period, came, and despite several people trying to cheer me up, i was still in my depressed state. "It's okay, at least you passed. some people can't even do polynomials! ROFL"
Many things came into my head, and i nearly answered back at that statement. I became angry in a split second. But it was useless, no matter how much i argued, nothing would change. Just like that, my anger was gone and i held back my retort. Lunch came, and i quietly ate my food. Too quietly, i guessed, for the people around me asked what was wrong. "Nothing", i replied in a toneless voice. I assume they sensed something was wrong, so they just avoided me for the rest of the lunch period. I sat alone quietly for the next 30 minutes. the bell rang, i and i made my way to my 4th period class. I sat down and tuned everything out. just like that, the class was over. I hurriedly dressed to go home, and go home i did.

When i arrived home, my parents were there. I was afraid to show them my marks, but i knew i would have to eventually. Then after dinner, they asked the inevitable. "Can we, mommy and daddy, see you report card?" They asked in their we-love-you-as-long-as-you-get-good-marks voice. Reluctantly, i showed them. "80, that's fine." my dad said. Oh boy, a documentary. "92, that's very good. 81, that's fine also. Oh, and your last mark is a-" My dad stopped dead. His eyes widened as big as golf balls. My mom's mouth dropped open. They both turned their heads to stare at me in shock and horror. "What?" i said. "A sixty FUCKING eight? YOU DAMN WORTHLESS BOY. A 68? YOU'RE A FUCKING FAILURE. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE. I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT ABORTION!! GOD DAMN, WHAT DID WE DO WRONG? JESUS CHRIST!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WE RAISED YOU TO BE SMART, HIGH 90'S, NOT SOME HOBO WITH A 68 ATTACHED TO THEIR NAME. DO YOU WANT TO BE A GARBAGE MAN OR SOMETHING? HUH? YOU STUPID BOY, YOU'RE GONNA PAY THE-", My mom screeched at me. she could have said more, but she lost her voice mid-sentence. And frankly, i could care less. my dad looked at me with those same golf ball eyes, and ran up the stairs, into the computer room. i swear i saw him with a baseball bat. I made it just in time to see him crush the computer. glass and electronics flew all over the place. one swing after another, he broke my computer. He looked at me with menacing eyes. "no more DAMN games for you, you worthless boy", he said. I remained silent for a full 5 seconds. Then i screamed "FUCK YOU DAMMIT. FUCK YOU AND YOUR WHORE OF A WIFE. FUCK MY LIFE, AND SCREW YOURS. I HATE IT, I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT. GO TO HELL AND SUCK SOME TIC TACS YOU DEMON!" I ran to my room and locked the room. I grabbed a knife and held it at my wrist, gathering myself to escape this world. I could hear my father shouting "get out here" at the top of his lung. Closer and close the knife went to my wrist. but i couldn't do it. "screw this. Screw my life and screw everybody else's. there is no God" i murmured as i drifted off into a deep sleep on my bed.

Chrisss a voice said. chrisssss I woke up in cold sweat. CHRISSSSSSSS. CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 'damn heater', i though. I slowly got up, and i nearly screamed. A cloaked guy was there at the foot of my bed. He was also transparent. and had no legs. and was floating "Holy crap, what the hell are you?" i cried.
"i'm the ghost of christ-, I mean math past" It said.
"So....you're like Aristole?"
"He wasn't a mathematician, idiot. Besides, i'm Ronold McDonald" It said as it removed it hood.
I faced-palmed as he did that.
"Okay okay, you caught me, i used more than 2 coupons at the McDonalds store. I'm sorry."
"I ALREADY SAID I'M A MATH GHOST OF THE PAST! Now let me take you back to a time...a time where you thought math was fun" and just like that, a white flash appeared, and i landed at my own house before it got new carpets. "7 years ago, this is. Go down, and look at how much fun you're having solving algebra"
I went down and looked into the work room. And there was my dad yelling at me for not understanding an easy question. How nostalgic. "Do you remember how much fun you had back in the days? Back when you were at that old Saturday math class?"
"Hell no. if i remember correctly, i failed that class twice before i passed it. And by the time that had happened, i was the oldest in the whole class. I was freaking miserable. All night, my dad would scold me for being stupid. I'm gonna have nightmares about this for days."
"Oh, but look! you're laughing right now!"
"if you're not blind, i'm obviously crying. Oh look, this is the part where he bitch slapped me" And just like that, he bitch slapped me. "Look what he did to me. Did i really have to see that...again?"
"Oh look, my time's up!" He looked down at this watch...which wasn't there in the first place. "Time to go back, pal. Remember you're happiness back then, chris....happy....ness..." His voice floated away as the world spun around me.

I woke up in cold sweat. "Thank god, just a nightmare" Just a crappy night-"
"Chris, wake up, chris..."
'oh god, fake sleep, fake sleep'
"WAKE-UP-I'M-THE-GHOST-OF-THE-PRESENT-COME-WITH-ME-OR-ELSE-YOUR-ASSHOLE-WILL-NEVER-BE-THE-SAME" he said in one breath. I looked up and screamed like a girl. It was the Burger King man. And just like that, i spun on the spot and appeared in school.
"Look. You're having so much fun in math class! You're talking and laughing! and look! (the scene changed to the library) "You're tutoring somebody in math! Look at joy you bring to the kids eye! Look at the joy on your face! Who said you suck at math? huh, who said?
"...Wrong Chris, Mr. Poor Excuse For A Fast Food Joint. That Chris has FLAT hair. FLAT. YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE? And that Chris in the math class wasn't me either. Hell, that was a girl, you asshole!" I rolled up my sleeves and showed him my guns. I couldn't tell if he was nervous since he wore that mask, but i just assumed he was. "Yeah B, see these?"
"Oh look, my times up. BACK YOU GO" And 1 second later, i wokein my bed, with cold sweat. My bed was soaking wet by now, but whatever.
"Screw this, i'll just wait for the 3rd ghost." And wait i did. 5 AM turned to 6 AM. 6 Am turned to 6:30 Am. until... The door burt open and Cobra Commander enetered.

"Sorry, am i late? Funny story really, i was at a club, right? Then i drank some gin from my cup, and the next thing i know, I'M ON THE GROUND NAKED! Then i noticed there were warts on my pe-"
"SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, TASTE NO EVIL, ETC. Let's just get this over with!"
"Oh right. You see, i'm the ghost of the-"
"Future ghost, right. Let's blow this joint and go to the future." And once again, i spun. and spun, spun like i was in a blender full of rocks and diamonds. Then we landed in front of a mansion. With some maids at front door.
"And there you have it. You're gonna become filthy rich and live in a mansion full girls in maid costumes."
"Oh. So how did i get rich?"
"You created a blockbuster movie based on the CaramellDansen song. A long stretch, but Paris Hilton was in it, and it was obviously an instant hit."
"That's sick yo." then i thought i spotted somebody familair. "Hey, is that Ys-?"
"Times up! BACK WE GO. Let the Cobra be with you."
I woke up in, you guessed it, cold sweat. "I swear that was...nahh"

In the morning...

I appraoched my mom and dad. "Yo Ma and Pa. I decided to drop out of highschool"
I watched thier mouth hang in horror. "WAIT, but i decided to hone my CaramellDansen skills."
They huddled for a breif moment. "Alright son, but as long as you post it on Youtube like several other thousand people already do. Then we will love you again and comment on all of your videos."
And Caramelldanse i did. When the school called, i swore loudly at them, and told them shove a pineapple in thier butt. When the authorities came, i DID shove a pineapple up thier butt. Lesson learned, it doesn't matter how bad your marks are, it all matters if whether you have the Dansen spirit in you.

Happy Dansen, everybody.

2009-01-26T13:53:00.000-08:00

Yeah, today's another regular day. Religion exam was a joke, walking home was a joke, my Grandma was a joke, the TV was a joke, And I ran out of jokes. Oh, and it's Chinese New Years. It's the year of the Ox, so it's okay. You don't have to care. Rooster is in another 9 years, so come back then.

Unfortunately, I'm not gonna have a party until like the weekend. Fortunately, i still get money. Which i can't spend because I'm saving it up for University. I know, i know, I'm looking too far ahead into the future. But trust me. When you see me buy all the textbooks in one day and STILL have enough money BUY lunch, you'll be envious.
I've also been gaining EXP on Final Fantasy 7 for the past 3 hours. Gotta get my EXP before AR starts. I should be like, reading the dictionary to prepare for it, but my party ain't gonna level up on it own you know.

So anyways, it's the year of the Ox. Just in case you have no idea what an Ox is, I'll explain. You see, back in the time of the Ox, some God was so bored, he wanted to 13 specific species of animals. 13 out of like 999999. They were a cat, a dog, a rat, an ox, a pig, a rooster, snake, monkey, ram, horse, tiger, rabbit, and dragon. Yes, dragon. They became extinct around the 15th century. That was when Dungeons and Dragons were first created by crusaders. That was one hell of a century. Anyways, we all know the cat got tricked by the rat or something because he was a gullible little bastard, and he slept or something. I don't remember the full story, but the ox was in it. and the race ended. And the God made the Zodiac for some reason that's beyond me.

What does an Ox look like?

Pictured: an ox

So anyways, i'm sure you all know what the tradition for Chinese New Years are. Lion dance, money, Lion dance, money, red, red, red, money, lion dance.

As you noticed, i repeated some things twice. That's because we're not in Hong Kong, where they go gaga for Chinese New Years, so i think listed up there is what Chinese New Years is like in Canada. So as my own celebration, i decided to do the lion dance. I'm not sure who i'll preform in front of. Maybe the world via Youtube, but that's pending. As you all know, i need another person to complete the lion dance. So i decided to choose one of you to be my partner! This is how it works:

Pictured: Cool people

Whoever volumteers, you must come practise at my house everyday for the next week. I know, most of you readers are female, and we all know what "practise at my house" can imply, but don't worry, the pants are unisex. Trust me.

So happy Chinese New Years, go eat some chinese take-out tonight if you want to be a real sport, and don't forget about this story, for you may too tell this when you are at a wise, old age, to a small child, and be-dazzle his young, manipulatable mind, and make his day, a special day.

2009-01-20T14:08:00.000-08:00

Somebody beat me in AR. How can somebody beat my score in AR? I mean, i'm the ultimate book worm in the school! How can some grade 11 person beat ME, a Cool Cat, in AR? 500 points vs my 438? you bastard, you deserve to eat expired yogurt. It's on, you hear me, 500-point-person? you just messed with the wrong Cool Cat. I remember how happy and giddy and excited and happy and excited i was when the library teachers told me i'm #1 in AR in the school! Me, the Cool Cat! 1st place!! I finally won something, and you want to take the glory from me!?!? IT'S ON, YOU HEAR ME? I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO QUIT GAMES FOR 6 MONTHS, BUT IT'S ON. I'LL BEAT YOUR CRAPPY SCORE AND MAKE YOU WISH YOU NEVER OPENED A BOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE. My goal for this year is 1000 points. That's approx 33 thirty point books. Sounds okay to me. Stephen King is there to help me. and if i run out of his manliness, i'll just go with those Clique books series. They sound interesting. I wonder what prizes they will have. Hope the grand prize isn't another ipod shuffle. I don't think i need another one >.>

*cough*
i'm not prepared for any of my exams, so i'm gonna go Google ways to cheat. If i get caught, it's off to Japan.

2009-01-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

Yay, it's almost exams. Now i have to do homework and study instead of playing games. Freaking awesome. Though it's almost second semester so hurrah hurrah. Can't wait for AR again. It's time to get my reading glasses on and own all the other noobs who try to get 1st place. Bring it, book worms, bring it.

Maybe if I stop playing games and actually do some educational work i'll be as smart as my cousin. He got accepted into an interview by Harvard. He had to do SATs, and Essay, and a resume. Holy crap god dammit, why do you excel in brain-power so much? Is it because your dad is a pharmicist? If so, i'll gladly buy whatever he's slipping into your food. har har that's the best joke i came up with. ever. pharmicist. pills. food. how sadistic. I gotta start studying for every. single. subject. now. Now i need a cure for procrastination. Maybe if i play more games, i'll procratincate less. Since i'm focusing on something else than procrastiantion. That sounds plausible. I'll give it a try.

Until recently, neer, in my WILDEST, WILD WEST dreams have i EVER, NEVER EVER, thought a cat can do tricks. Until some days ago, i was like "hay, how bout i see if catz can do dog trickz" and holy, stinking crap, they can. It freaking BLEW my mind. It BLEW it, I tell you. CATtacysmic.

Who said you can't teach an old cat dog tricks?

I did!
=[

2009-01-06T18:03:00.001-08:00

happy belated '09 to you! 3 more years(+few months) until our world ends! i'm talking to you, Mayans!

Mayans, you've just been Tagged!

i don't have enough time to right a full blown...entry...(i really do hate blog terminology), but i'll write something because it's gonna be my first...write up...of two-oh-oh-nine! yay.

so, here's my list of '09 expectations.

the school will finally realize we wear jacket/sweaters in school is because we are cold, NOT because we want to be cool or stylish
Obama will go to Iraq. no, i don't want to make fun of him. yet.
the Leafs will win the Stanley Cup.
stairs will be replaced with escalators in school. we all know how tiring it is to walk up there.
the Autobots will crash into the earth to look for the All Spark (MAJOR EXPECTATION)
My dream of a turn-based combat in life will be fulfilled.
The Angels & Demons movie will suck. not like it will stop me from watching it.
The Wii will make MAOR casual games
more people will die from Grand Theft Auto related death than any other way.
They will remove the helmet from Master Chief
Mario will be rated M
Caramell Dansen will be the next big hit in the school. Courtesy of you-know-who-you-are and I
When you say shotgun, i say http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shotgun
my sweet 16 party will make me very popular. Chucky Cheezes anybody?
lolcat will finally has cheezebuger

i will be waiting for them throughout the year. i have HIGH expectations.

2008-12-24T19:47:00.001-08:00

So. It's CHRISTMAS eve. WOOHOO, IT'S C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S TOMORROW. YEAH G, YEAH.
either way, it doesn't feel like it. oh well.

And when it's CHRISTMAS, you know what television companies do, right? Thaaaaat's riight! Christmas Specials! But you know what Christmas special I really enjoy? FOOD NETWORK SPECIALS! Especially with my favourite TV chefs personalities. So out of pure CHRISTMAS spirit, i'm gonna do my top 5 favourte TELEVISION chef personalities. You know, the ones that have a Tv show? I mean, I would do the top 5 best chefs in my opinion, but you know, I'm KINDA a kid and KINDA poor to eat out at their fancy pants retaurants. Why am I doing this? It's because, you people gotta stop watching your "Heroes", "Lost", and other highly rated shows, and watch more Food Network. Learn to cook for your Husbands/Wives! Regardless, onwards!

Top 5:
Television chefs personalities on Food Network

Rachael Ray

Shows:

30 minute meals
$40 dollars a day
Tasty travels

Why:
I honestly don't watch her often, but when I do, it's only because of her personality. I mean, what other chef says "Yum-O" when something's yummy-in-her-tummy? or what about E.V.O.O? She's like "just a bit of E.V.O.O!" What's E.V.O.O, you ask? Well my good civilians, that stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil. One of the finest there is. What's Extra Virgin Olive Oil? Are you not culinarily inclined are something? Either way, her other shows aren't half bad. I mean, what's so bad about a show that has her pigging out on various fine looking munchies? Oh, and people love her personality so much that she has her own talk show or soemthing on CityTv. who knew?

Bobby Flay

Shows:

Grill It!, Throwdown...and several others. Oh, and he's an iron chef, in Iron Chef: America.

Why:
Meh, he's pretty entertaining to say the least. I can't really explain it, but something about him just screams out "WATCH ME COOK SOMETHING!" I dunno what. He's just one of those people who suck you in, and just won't let go it's done.
wait...

#3

Jamie Oliver

Shows:
just too many. But the one and only I enjoy is Jamie at Home

Why:
I like the way he describes things. I's kinda like how a kid would describes food. The way he plates his food on that show is awesome too. Screw fancy plating. Just throw it on a plate and leave it. It'll all end up in the same place anyways. The toilet. I also like the way he cooks on that show. OUTDOOR OVEN? GARDEN FULL OF FRESH FOOD? THAT'S LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH FOR FOOD FANATICS!

# 2

Martin Yan

Shows:
Yan Can Cook, and several other ones, but that's the most famous I know about.

Why:
Where to begin? He's officially the first cooking show guy I ever saw. And back then, any guy who can wield a knife the way he did sliced his/her way into my heart. He was cool, he could cook, and he was Chinese. Not to be bias here, but he's still the only Chinese cooking guy who I ever saw have a successful show in America. And who could forget his epic line at the end of each show? "If Yan can cook, so can you!" God that's godly. It's so godly that I think I'll worship a picture of him.
Though unfortunately, as I grew older and finally understood that cooking meant more than just chopping things up and adding some random soy (sauce, that is), his shows stopped airing. Maybe once or twice I've seen it again in the past 10 years, but that's not enough to take the #1 spot, unfortunately. Oh well.

"If Yan can cook, so can you!"

Yes I can, Yan, yes I can.

Michael Smith

Shows:
Chef Abroad
Inn Chef
Chef at Home
Chef at Large

Why:
I've prolly watch more of his shows then any other Food Network shows. Especially Chef at Home. Damn that's a really good show. It's just so educational and entertaining. Hell, screw Heroes/Lost/Gilmore Girls/Big Brother 55 or whatever number it's on. I rather watch his shows. He's also one of those guys who sucks you in. sensuously. Tenderly. And lovingly. Though if Yan was still airing, I would rather watch him. But he's not, so Michael Smith FTW

HOUNERABLE MENTIONS

Alton Brown

Shows:
Good Eats
and 2 or 3 more, but good eats FTW

Why:
Alton Brown is officially the best Food Network personality ever. Though he's not officially a chef, so I stuck him here 'cause he's just that jacked. Good Eats is the most entertaining, educational and (mildly) humorous show evar! With his ever so awesome hosting style, his ever so awesome referances to pop culture, and his ever so awesome cast of characters, his show is one of a kind. Unlike other shows, I actually learn something scientific about food. It's so like, jacked man. This show is jacked. Hell, i'm gonna watch an episode on youtube now.

True say, picture, true say.

There you have it. The top 5(6?) Food Network TV personalities. All because I know you all don't watch that channel on a regular basis. Now, i'm gonna go to my Christmas party now. Hope to pick up a chick or 2. or 3. And maybe become a father afterwards. 'cause that's what teens do at parties, right? Why else would they have sexual intercourse with a random stranger. I assume it's because our natural instincts tell use to spread our genes as much as possible, and thus, sex ensues.

Golly, i'm so smart.

Happy Christmas

2008-12-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

Damn Mother Nature! Why are you snowing so much!? There even more snow then the dandruff on my head!! and eyebrows, for those who care.
Above all, why do I have to walk in your white, cold crap? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? Okay, so maybe I littered once or twice. Maybe I didn't conserve water. Maybe, just MAYBE, I called you a "little bitch" when my A/C broke down during the hot days of summer. But you're Mother nature, not Captain Planet >=[

WHY IS YOUR SKIN BLUE?

WHY IS YOUR SKIN BLUE TOO? OH NO, ARE THEY RELATED?

...Regardless of their relationship status, today was like an adventure game for me....minus the fun.

It all started at 11:40. I was planning to go to Mark's house(the Yung Mark. ha geddit? no....?...I failed..) Anyways, by that time, Mother Nature was already being a bitch;like, a Bitch's bitch. But not content with waiting until school's over, I ventured into the eye of the storm.

During the morning, I armed myself. In my arsenal was a sweater, a jacket, a hat, and a scarf. My eventual downfall was blamed on my running shoes, and my goddamn socks. oh, I forgot my gloves too.
So anyways, I went to Mark's house(the Yung Ma-...oh wait) through all that snow. ankle freaking high snow, might I add. I kept my head down since the ice pellets were like mini daggers to my exposed face. Dman right they hurt. Eventually, after a long ferious battle, and many "SHIT/FUCK THAT HURTS" I arriced to his house. My socks were freaking wet, especially at the ankle area. Was I ever gonna pay for not brining an extra pair of socks. Anyways, we watched Battle Royale(not enough exploding necks), then I did other stuff for 2 hours or so. The time was 2:30. It was time to go.

The wind was picking up(damn MotheNnature), and I knew right away I was in for a long battle. I calculated using my pocket calculator that it'll take around 30 minutes to get home from his house. Piece of pound cake. Or so I thought.
5 minutes into the walk, I knew I was either gonna die, or fly- I mean make it home. The side- walk was filled with snow higher than my ankle(SHOVEL, DAMMIT), so I had to walk on the road for most of the time. I couldn't see anything either. All i saw snow all over the place.

10 minutes in, I was about half way. Part of my scarf was frozen because my spit got on it 'cause I was breathing through my mouth. My cheeks were frozen, and my ankle was numb. And all I could think of was how much calories this'll burn. and death. Don't forget death by beng frozen.

20 minutes in, I saw the familiar park. and right across the park was my house. But Mother Nature left me a boss battle in my adventure. The snow was almost to my knee. So I had to take the LOONG way. The stupid sidewalk was beyond ankle deep. I almost tripped like 50 times, and I could almost hear the people passing me in their car laughing at me. That sadistic laugh...
right before my street, I almost passed out. O've been walking for like 25 minutes in that blizzard, and i was tired and my legs were frozen(long johns plz). But i had to go on. why is my house so far down the street? Everything got blurry, and U was sleepy. But, I was almost there. I could smell it.

30 minutes in, i finally reached my house. i could hear the EXP points rolling in.

When I went inside, I stripped all my winter clothing off. my ankles were nuuuumb and wetter than my mom's- wait, not going there. I ate a little food to gain back HP, but i had a status effect on me. My ankle, or atleast the back of my foot felt stiff. It was painful to straighten my foot too, and it felt like it was on fire. So using my survival skills, I filled a tub of warm water, and dumped my foot in it. It got better. kinda. I also applied lotion, 'cause you know...lotion FTW? It still kinda hurts though. Did I mention the most I said on this trip was was "SHIT, THAT FREAKING HURTS, GOD DAMMIT, SHIT"

all in all...

Have a Very Harry...

Christmas
or
Hanukkah
or
Kwanza
or

any other holiday I oh-so-conviently forgot.

2008-12-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

WOO, IT'S SNOWING

I just wanna go outside and frolic happily in it and then stretch my arms out wide, and try to catch the snowflakes on my tongue!

is that what normal guys do?

So this week was faaantastic. How? well, for one, it's getting colder. for another, i have an essay I have to do. For another, the sidewalks are all icy(slipped 4 times already. didn't fall. the ice didn't get me yet.........) For another, I'm 5 days closer to my death. Perfect week. Really, that's my week in a turtle shell. And the espanol trip. But that got covered 3 days ago.

Now I wonder how it'll be like to switch lives with some person who has a very social life that hangs out 3/4 of the time with the other 1/4 smoking up some wacky-tabackey. I wonder...

On one hand, it'll be a 180 degrees flip in my life. OMG, HANG OUT BUDDIES.
But on the other, I'll probably get so overwhelmed by the open wise world of OUTSIDE, that I'll throw my self into a lake while kicking myself. Then the person who I switched places with will get so bored, they'll use my limitless collection of empty lead pencils to stab themselves up their anus.
Hey, atleast it's snowing!

One day I would love to fly to the moon.
It'll be first be like

Then it'll be like PEWWWWWW
Then I find HOLY SHIT ALIENS

Then I find out the moon is made of cheese
How romantic.
Happy snowing day, individuals of earth!

2008-12-07T20:08:00.001-08:00

Yay, I finished watching 1 Litre of Tears. Well, I finished it a while ago, but hey...uhm....YAY.

retardness aside, I was quite disappointed that I didn't cry during episode 10 or 11, when I cried in 8 and 9. And damn, were those crying periods awkward and cool. Though I blame the movie 'Pay It Forward' for preventing me from bawling at the last scene. A great moment in drama ruined by a mediocore movie.

Today was also the first time I went to the libary before it actually opened. I was like "EPIC, THE GATES ARE DOWN. EVEN MORE EPIC THAN WHEN THE AUTOBOTS CRASHED ON EARTH". Yeah, it was that cool.

Then I asked a lady on the History level to help me find books on bullfighting and nazis. She gave me one, no two, no three, no five, no eight books. EIGHT. I mean, it's great and all, but I had to carry around eight freaking books around the libary. It was ridiculous looking. In the end, I abandoned 2 of the books in the wrong sections. RIP, misplaced books. You were brave warriors until the end.

So all in all...my day was full of FUN AND EXCITEMENT AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND HAVING FUN AND GOING OUTSIDE ALL DAY AND BEING SOCIAL.

no wait.
.
.
.
something is wrong there.

2008-12-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

Huzzah, I finally finished my jigsaw puzzle.
though truth be told, my mom ended up doing 60% of it.
grr.
But all I have to do next is to apply glue to the surface to make it all hard and stiff =]
then I can frame it.
And then move on to the next puzzle!

I also really got to stop procrastinating.
in fact, I'm doing so right now!
Like some person on earth said:
"Procrastination is like mas-
...all you're doing is fucking yourself"
anyways I barely started on my Spanish, and it's due on either Wednesday or Friday.
If it's Wednesday, then I'm gonna slit my wrists and dump my head into boiling ketchup.
Nice knowing you, all.

Today was also a milestone in my life!
A drama actually made me cry...for once!
Well, a Japanese drama (1 litre of tears).
It was like:
......................*tear tear*.......*tear*....*wipe*.....*tear tear tear*.....*wipe wipe*...
Hell, most sad shows/anime just make me tear up a bit.
then the man inside me comes out with a RAWR and toughens me up like the true man I am.

Anyways, it's about this girl who has Spinocerebellar degeneration something incurable disease and how she lives with her life.
The comments on youtube were like "OMG so sad"
"OMG i cried more than 1 litres"
at every episode.
I only cried once.
psh, girls.
4 more episodes to go!

2008-11-24T16:30:00.000-08:00

It's 2 days late...but

On Saturday, it was my cousin's grandma's....*DRUM ROLL*

...

100TH BIRTHDAY!
ONE HUNDRETH BIRTHDAY!
¡CENTÉSIMO CUMPLEAŇMOS!
一百岁生日

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (cha cha cha) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (cha cha cha) HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO [cousin's grandma name here]! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (cha cha cha)

BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLES!

It all took place at a buffet, which was a first. There were almost 200 people I think. It was epic.

My cousin MC'd

We had a kid's table(though only I'm underage at that table. everybody else is over 18 or almost 18. BOO) for the inner-circle of cousins, and it's always fun when us 9 or 10 together. That's actually a lot of cousins now that I think about it. That's what I get for my grandma having 6 children.

So then we sang her happy birthday in English, then Chinese. Then we ate. I ate less than I expect(what's wrong with me D:). And the sashimi there was half frozen at one point. Fresh my ass.

There were 60 prizes that were given away from a draw. They called 29 and my brother had 28. I had 27. BULL CRAP. None of my family won anything. boo. There were dried chinese mushrooms(for SOUPS and other dishes. just in case), wine, Tims cards, some crap, some real crap, and 2 COACH BAGS. I didn't win. I almost cried.

Then near the end, we(kid's table) sang "how old are you now?" and tried to go to 100. We made it to 64 before the adults told us to shut up. Meh, we were close.

We all had cups with the words "100th birthday" as a souvenier. They had mahjong peices on it =] It also uncluded a toonie in a

So yeah. It was a great day.

NOW TO WAIT FOR HER 110TH BIRTHDAY!

2008-11-19T17:07:00.000-08:00

PETA(People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is bloody hilarious. If you didn't know already, PETA made a Cooking Mama rip-off of a game but it's about making a turkey dinner buy 100x more gorified. It's this:

(insert game here)

Sorry, that made me hungry instead.

Though I did somewhat enjoy that game more than other cooking mama games.

Damn PETA and their stupid animal rights ways(complete elimination of domestication along with any interaction of humans with animals, haha). Sure animal cruelty exists, but hey, me want animal flesh. Stop forcing us to convert to a vegan. I'll do that when chicken breasts are the only meat available. It's like binging on chewy sandpaper to me.

On another note, i downloaded Touhou! And i suck. so...much...epilepsy inducing...visuals...

2008-11-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

SO today was a fantastic Personal Activities day.

So i went to the movies, and of course, i payed to watch the previews only. And omg, was it worth the 12 bucks!

So 3 previews in, it was all dark. Then...*queue dramatic music* Then you see Vatican City. The camera looms above the Vatican Square. At this time, i was like "OMGAH...can it be?" And then the narrator dude was like "In Vatican City, a ancient ritual is taking place" and i was like"OMGAH OMGAH" and then the narrator goes on anf on for a few seconds and i was still like "CAN IT BE??"

Then, the key line "....which is why this is the time for our revenge" or something close. And i was like "OH. MY. GOD. *hyperventilate*" Then they showed the Illuminati brand, and i was like "HOLY *** ************** ******* *********** *** ***** ****** *jumps up and down in seat frantically* And then it showed a little scenes, and it was like....

ANGEL
&
DEMONS

And by this time, i already wet myself several times and screamed like a little girl who had just seen Hannah Montana live. Then my pee gushed out violently, and they had to close that theater room for the day. I had no clue they made a movie for that book. No clue at all. OMGAH. Then the movie Cero Cero Siete started. And i was like "BOO, I WANT MY PREVIEWS". What a rip-off.

And then when i came home at like whenever, i beat...

BIOSHOCK! and about time too. Now i can go back to good 'ol RPGS. Starting wtih...

!!!!

SO yeah, it was a good day overall.

HAPPY PERSONAL ACTIVITIES DAY TO YOU ALL !!!!

2008-11-07T19:22:00.000-08:00

SALT

Sugar

Beer

Apple

Pomegranate

Touhou

Fuko

Pikachu

What do you get if you mix them up? A SALTUGARBEERAPPLEGRANATETHOUHOUFUKACHU.

There would be a picture, but...
B>photoshop

Maybe I should be more serious when I write in here. I guess I'll try it for one day.

So today I got recruited by one of the best bands in the world: Cat's Meow (which i will refer to them as CM since I'm lazy)

So CM was like "yo, you look like a cat fan." and I was like "YES" and CM was like "wanna join our band?" andIi was like "YES". Then I entered their catmobile, and they gave me the cat-tar. It was like a guitar, but the strings were whiskers and it meow-ed instead of....making a guitar sound.

So then CM's leader, Catarina(...it was a girl) was like, "we'll start you off with catillia." So I played the cat-tar. It was like "meow meow meoww meooow meow meow meoww meooow meow meow meooow meooow meow meow meoow meooow". CM then meowed in appreciation. Then the drummer, Catrick, was like "That's one cat-tastic song you played." I was like "YES" Then Catarina said "okay, so you know the basics of the cat-tar. Now we move on to the hard songs. How about Kittenforce?" So I was like "YES". Then the catmobile filled with the sound of meowing as I shredded the cat-tar with my sharp claws. After 34 mintues of pure hammer-cats, meow-offs, and a hell lot of strumming(no pun =[), the room filled with cheers as they approved of my playing. Then they were like "okay, now for your first concert, we'll be there in 9 seconds." 9 seconds later, we arrived at Cat York. I exited the catmobile, and the band was like "you ready, epic cat-tar player who we don't even know the name of?" and I was like "N-YES". So then we entered the stadium(B>name), and we started the concert. We started with "Oops, I Did Cats Again" and ended with "Kittenforce", just as planned. The crowd(who was filled with cat lovers), meowed with approval. Then they were like, here, cat-tar player, you can ride back this cat-tastic tornado to Kansas....I mean Mississcat...ga. So i rode the cat-tastic tornado back to Mississcat...ga. Then io went home on top of a purple cat. What are the odds?

THE END.

So yeah, I tried to be as serious as possible. An improvment, in my opinion.

2008-11-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

MY DAY: IN 60 SECONDS

(My intermission from Espaňol)

Okay, so first I woke up and brushed my teeth and combed my hair and shaved my legs using my mom's razor.

Then I went down to eat breakfast.

MENU

Egg
Bacon
Toast
Bagel
Steak
Rabbit
Frog legs
Diarrhea inducing All-bran cereal
Pokemon Cards

I chose eggs with a side of Pokemon cards.

I then packed my bag, dashed to the car, and my dad drove me to school. At school, I realized it was a Tuesday. WHICH MEANS that it's the day after Monday.

Then I entered the school and had to change my pad since I was on my man-period. Then in the washroom, this dude was like "YO B, ISN'T THAT TAMPAX BRAND MAN-TAMPONS?" Then I was like "NO, Z, IT'S MANPAX" Then I went to the third floor to my locker, changed my shoes, stuffed my bag with textbooks, and went to chill with my homies. They were like "WHAT'S UP G? IT'S ONE FLIPPIN' GOOD DAY, AIN'T IT, G?" and i was like "YEAH MEN. NOW LET'S TAKE OFF OUR SHIRTS, SHOW OUR 6.5-PACK AND DANCE TO IMAGINARY MUSIC" So we danced.

Then I went to Spanish. Then history. Then math. Then religion. Then lunch somewhere in between.

in Spanish, it was like "FIESTAAAAA!"
in History it was like "OBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMAAAAAAA!"
in Math it was like "FIND X!"
in Religion it was like "GOD>OBAMA!"

At lunch, I was like "FOOD FIGHT!" then I was like "FOOD FIGHT...?" then I was like "....F-F-FOOD F-FIGHT?" then I was like *sob sob hiccup sob sob hiccup sob sob etc*

So yeah, all in all, it was a fantastic day.

2008-10-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

IT'S FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31!! You know what that means! THAT'S RIGHT! One day until a new month. WOO HOO. Oh, and Candy Day. Can't forget about candy day, right?
And since it's Candy Day, that means I get to count how many times my house got egged! Last year, only 2 windows got hit, with 3 hits on the bricks. Lol, what poor aim people have these days. Now all that's left is to play games in a somewhat dark house, so the kids will be like "nobody's home I bet. let's leave." or maybe "nobody's home....*takes out eggs*"

So the history movie trip thing movie was okay. more blood(and sex) then I expected. But not enough blood(and sex) to have me give it more than 3/5 stars. We should watch Religulous for religion. That'll teach 'em religion teachers to teach religion. Wait...

So I don't know if anybody else noticed, but during Japan's performance during Culture Shock during 1st period, the song they sang was 1000 Words from Final Fantasy X-2. I swear nobody else noticed, so when I was like "OH MY GOSH, 1000 WORDS FROM FINAL FANTASY", the people with me were like "Oh, you're such a Final Fantasy fanatic". I glowed with pride ^-^

And if the song wasn't 1000 words, then I'm gonna laugh at my poor hearing.

Damn this week passed by fast. I swear the Time God fast forwarded time these past 4 weeks. I hope this feeling continues. Then snow will fall. Then There will be a lot of snow. Then there's a possibility of a snow day. Then I gotta shovel snow! I swear I'm the only person who enjoys shoveling snow.BRING IT ON.

AND GEEZ, MY ANIME HAS TO DOWNLOAD FASTER. I WANT MY CLAANNNNAD.

Yup, this week was stressful, alright.

2008-10-26T19:17:00.000-07:00

Tired of the same old taste? Find that you can't finish it lately?

yes?

Then I think you need some...!

you're guaranteed to eat it up, or your money back!

2008-10-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

i swear i'm running out of things to do. Why else would i resort to this? >.>

Damn, I'm so gonna go to chapters one day and buy the Sola manga. The anime was okay, but...yeah. I swear, if it's licensed and not available in Canada or chapters, I'm gonna kill chapters. The damn online translators also quit doing it at such a good part too >.> Damn liscensing companies.

Sola <3

2008-10-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

Damn, i'm bored. So before i go away into my tiny room of depression and read a novel, i'm gonna waste a lot of time by osting the 5 most moe anime girls i know! What's 'moe'? well, i'll give it to my good buddy Wikipedia Encyclopedia for that answer. He says "Moe (え /mo.e/, pronounced "mo-eh" literally "budding", as with a plant) is a Japanese Slang word originally referring to fetish for or love for characters in video games or anime and manga. "

basically it's a really 'KAWAII DESU NE NE MIAOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ' girl in my terms. Or something like that *shrugs at precise definition*

top 5

Moe girls. Why top 5? Screw finding 5 more pictures to make it a top 10. In fact, find them for me. I have books to read and puzzles to complete.

numero 5

Nagi Something or another (Kannagi)
Why? Because she's tsundere one second, innocent the next, and violent the next next. Oh, and she loves Tayaki*points to picture*. Who can complain about that?

numero 4

Yutaka Kobayakawa(Lucky Star!!@)

She's just so loli! She's just so happy and cheerful and childish. Especially when she sings. Now that's hilarious.

numero 3

Fuko Ibuki (Clannad)

Why? She has nearly all the sterotypes of the general Japanese definition of 'moe'. Acts like a little kid(but she's like 17 or somewhere around that age), veeery happy-go-lucky, and halariously gullible. Oh, and she get's lost in her world of starfish. And damn was her story arc sad =[ Go Go Fuko!

numero 2

Nagi Sanzen'in (Hayate no Gotoku)

The only reason she's higher than Fukoi(GO FUKO) is because she appeared in 41 or something more episodes than Fuko which as a result, made the audience like her better. A rich, spoiled kid who's tsundere, innocent(...kinda?), bossy, whiny, and is an otaku. There's more, but whatever.

And...

NUMERO 1

Chi (Chi's Sweet Home) =] =] =]

3 Seconds to guess why before I label you as a cat hater.

...

3

..

2

.

1

...Damn cat hater.

Honorable mentions!

Rika (Higarashi no koro ni)

I never seen this anime....yet(mentally preparing for it), but i've seen enough of her moments to know her. Like this one (0:13)

So to conclude, I should really go outside more.

Until next time, fellow fellows!

2008-10-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

Hazzah, history seminar is over! You know what that means!

*cough*
So when i was walking home today, i saw this...err...clown guy with claws on one hand(like that Freddy guy) with a one hell of a scary clown mask on his face on some small side-street in Bristol(like beyon a small fence where the houses are. Like where the houses form a circle and is at a dead end) I have no idea if that was a real person since he didn't change his pose at all for the 20 seconds i walked past him. It's claw was like....The pointing to sky, elbow bent, evil mask. It reminded me of the book "IT" by Stephen King. It gave me clownphobia =[The fuck is wrong with the movie producers? I never imagined the clown in the book to be like that >=O *runs*

Anyways, it was pretty frighting to see that...err...man? just standing in that scary pose. I think it was a statue or wax figure, but it looked so real, and it was like in the middle of the road(even though it was a dead-end). I was even imagining it coming up to me to like cut my head off or something. Or like one of those movies where you see the same monster all over the place. Wish i had a camera or something, then i would walk up to it and take a picture. Either way, THAT WAS ONE SCARY CLOWN-GUY-THING-STATUE.

oh yeah
PUZZLE COMPLETION: 5%. completing it 1% at a time..!

2008-10-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I was reading this thread in a game forum i go to which was about the difference of an acquaintance and a friend.

I now know that talking to somebody once in a while does not make them your friend(lol, was I ignorant or what?). Well, that's the gist of it. When I read that thread, I thought about all the people i know. It kind of saddens me that the people who i thought was a friend of mine was only an acquaintance. This usually does'nt bother me, but if i think about it, that's only a handful of people who I'll remember in the future(or when school ends). Half of that handful of friends who I will probably talk to. Half that amount of people are the people I'll probably "hang out" or see semi-regularly in person. But if some of the people in that group of people I'll "hang out" with moves to like the US to study, that'll leave me with virtually nobody to talk to in person. That kinda makes me feel lonely. I don't want school to end either, since people I know will still be with me. But at the same time, i can't wait until university time comes. that's when you actually learn about the subject you love the most. yippie!

On another note, Clannad S2 ep 2 came out today. Hurrah!
On another(another) note, half done my puzzle frame(bottom half) which is like 5% completion of the whole thing, lol. Yippie hurrah!

2008-10-08T18:26:00.001-07:00

So I decided to start another project: completing a 1000 piece puzzle. That's the most I've ever done! What was my previous record of pieces?

64.
ya rly

Even though the picture is like 3 flowers in pots together, oh well. I'll pick something out myself if I ever complete this one.

Anyways, The completion status will be posted every time I express my inner and true feelings into this wonder thing called a "blog". What a silly name.

completion status: 0.1% sorted pieces by colour.

kind of.

2008-10-06T12:28:00.001-07:00

Today, I was inspired to learn the piano. And since i don't have anybody to teach me, I'm gonna use Youtube and my own knowledge to learn it. Here's my first project/song. Wish me luck!

Also, Clannad: After story is out! yippie!

2008-10-03T21:07:00.001-07:00

Hoolyyyy shit, I hate Resident Evil 4. Especially on professional mode.

So i'm at the last part of chapter 5-4 where you have to get this card key, insert the card key back into the slot, press 2 buttons which are located at the opposite ends at each other, JUST TO OPEN A FREAKING DOOR/GARAGE while facing an onslaught of about 2324341 enemies that are on sterioids thanks to that stupid advanced mode.

Sure I beat it on normal, but this time I ONLY HAVE 2 BULLETS IN MY SHOTGUN, SOME 50 BULLETS OR SO IN MY PISTOL, 6 FLASH GRENADES, 4 GRENADES, 2(or 3 if i go and get it) HEALING ITEMS, AND 5 RIFLE BULLETS. And 5 magnum bullets, but who cares about those. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, I NEVER UPGRADED ANYTHING BECAUSE I WANTED TO SAVE MONEY. WHAT THE HELL. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THOSE LACK-LUSTER GUNS TO KILL 232EF32 ENEMIES? BUUUUULL CRAAAAAP. I CAN'T EVEN GO BACK TO BUY MORE BULLETS BECAUSE OF SOME ROAD BLOCK. WHY. IS. THERE. NO. MERCHANT?? WHY THE HELL DID I NOT UPGRADE ME FKING WEAPONS?

DAMMIT, I'LL BE GLAD IF I EVEN GET THROUGH THAT PART. I WANT MY INFINITE ROCKET LAUNCHER DAMMIT. REVENGE. I WANT REVENGE.

So yeah. I'll come up with some brizzare solution soon.

yay, first 100% real post. LET'S CELEBRATE BY BURNING MY RESIDENT EVIL 4 GAME. BUUURN.

2008-10-03T15:47:00.000-07:00

So thanks to...somebody...The Caramelldansen song is fricken stuck in my head. So i guess it's time to do the only known remedy to cure song-stuck-in-head disease. WE DANCE AND SING UNTIL WE IMPLODE.

Then we sleep.

So what are you up for? Original?

or Pikachu? OMGAH, PIKAAAACHUUU!!

Either way, COME DANCE WITH ME UNTIL WE STOP DROP AND ROLL WITH MIND IMPLOSIONS!

2008-10-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

YAY, IT'S OCTOBER. EVERYBODY DO THE OCTOBER DANCE WITH ME!

So. As it's October, it's pretty obvious that a brand new adventure and a brand new world is open now. Being in the 5 multiplied by 2 grade, I am now labeled as "cool" and can now smoke dandelions and other "weeds". Hip hip hurray.

So today we had mass, where all the grade 10 classes...nevermind, i'll skip the introduction.

So half way through the mass, the gates of hell opened in the middle of the floor, and 666 hands came and grabbed me down into it. Nobody even moved. you bastards. So down and down I went into this very hot place. i wonder if they ever heard of an A/C. When I hit the floor, i was surrounded by these horned things which were extremely ugly. I offered some make-up to them, but they politely refused.

Anyways, their "boss" came up to me and said that I was chosen to join them for dinner. He was surprisingly handsome. Dinner was nothing special. mashed potatoes, steak, peas. You know, the usual. The sauce was good though. Very hot. So afterward, I took a picture of him in his most evil evil pose. I crapped my panties.
So after I returned via skelecopter, mass was already over. The rest of the day went without incident. I did pet a wonderful cat during math class. It just loved being petted on the head. It wasn't purple though. What a shame.

After school, I went to the China pavilion. The class rooms was decorated to look like an authentic China house. We were told to pick out some Chinese cloths and wear them. Since i was curious, I wore a red girl's dress instead of the male version of it. It was roomy down below. Then mid-way though our talk about how AWESOME and WICKED and WONDERFUL and how CHINA WAS THE BEST, a Chinese dragon came in and sprinkled some dust on us. 17 of the people were allergic to it and were sent to the hospital. The dragon was like "bark meow rawr!" and flew away. I took a picture of it just in time. I was so scared, I crapped in my bikini.

Then i was forced to walk home with these DUDEetes who were as woMANLY as they can be. Yes, they were all woMEN. Anyways, somewhere along our epic journey together, we saw a sign with a phone number which said "free kittens. call 24565324676545654" So i called using my IPhone 3.14G phone, but they ran out. Damn crazy cat ladies with damn crazy cats that live in their home. Go eat lice.

Then we entered a creek named "PUI IS THE BEST CREEK". Nothing interesting happened, until we were 3/4 through. we saw a GIANT cat crossing some GIANT rocks. Then the GIANT cat went into some GIANT weeds and disappeared. I made a move to go after it, but one the the DUDEetes stopped me. Dammit, it was purple too.

Finally we made it into the end. After a long walk, i wanted to go to one of their houses and relax and stuff. But nooo, they said "what are you? Chris Pui?" and i was like "Hell yeah" and they were like "lol poser" and i was like ":("
so I had to walk in the opposite direction alone because I was not liked. Now i'm here.

What a wonderful day.

2008-09-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

Holy crap
I finally watched/listened a Miley Cyrus video/song as well as a Jonas Brothers video/song. It was the first time i ever heard them sing. And i got to say, it's not that bad. I actually kinda liked 7 things I love you for. Or was it hate? Though some reasons were fricken stupid. Why the hell would she hate him for loving her, yet hate him who loves her for liking another girl even though she hates him for loving her already? Why would she hate him for making her laugh? She even hates him for making her cry. So what she want him to do? make her feel neutral? Maybe it's just me, but she has an extremely odd way which a guy should treat her.

But one thing I found slightly hilarious in the Burning up video or whatever it's called was that they were playing Mah Jong.
HOLY SHIT, MAH JONG!

Lol, what the hell is he doing anyways? It's COMMON knowledge that you replace flowers with other tiles once you draw one. And they're playing with 2 people. Puhlease.
I am now officially a fan of the Jonas Brothers. All who oppose to me will be killed.
I'm a fan of Miley Cyrus too. I will now spam her e-mail in hope I will get noticed by her.

Never mind, I listened to another Jonas Brothers song and the singing got me irritated. Miley Cyrus is still cool though.

This week pt.2

2008-09-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

Level 3 cont.
At the pit full of angry infected cats, we had to jump in, wait 30 seconds, and get out on the other side. Why not walk around them? Because who the hell can't resist huge angry cats?

So the 2 remaining Asians jumped in at the same time. They said they loved cats. But i guess the cats didn't love them. They ripped and teared at their throats. The cats then ate their intestines. They then ripped their limbs into several pieces. It was pretty funny, actually. It was like pulling arms and legs off a Barbie doll. A waste, but somewhat satisfying at the same time. So it was me and the Sumo left. Being a true cat lover, I obviously learned their language. So all i did was speak with them. I asked them why they were killing people. They told me they liked ripping people's body into a dozen peices. I asked why. The cats told me that it's because they were deprived of toys. Poor cats.

So feeling sorry for them, I told them to wait. I then told the Sumo that the cats just wanted to play with him and his huge mass. The Sumo walked to the edge of the cat pit and I pushed him in. With the cats distracted, I went down and walked to the other side. RIP Sumo. I bid farewell to the cats. That's when I noticed a green tube that i could fit in. I went down.

Bonus level
Hurray! Free coins and a star that made me alll shiny and had a song appear out of mid-air when I touched it. Freaky.

End
I checked the Sumo's watch(which was 10 feet away from his body), which said I had only 10 minutes until my collar explodes. So I ran through the last door. I thought it went outside, but it only led to another room. The rich bored guy was there. "Your last challenge is to beyblade with me and win. I want atleast 1 game before your collar thing explodes, so let's begin."

So we both grabbed a beyblade, and yelled "3,2,1 LET IT RIP!"
The tops attacked each other. The rich guy was like "Go, dragoon!" and i was like "Go, Pikachu!". Then I remembered it was beyblades. My top was dying. I jumped down into the stadium and kicked his beyblade 100 feet away. He was impressed with my amazing skill. But it was too late. 12 hours had passed. I was going to die.

The clock chimed. I was still alive. The rich guy was like "HARHARHAR, I lied! It only explodes if you shoot it with a gun!" I laughed with him. I then took my collar off (it was held by duck tape. Yes, duck) and stuck it on him. I took out a pistol from a random box and shot at it. It exploded. He died. His last words were "My money..." I ate his body also. I went to the door that led outside. When I went out, I was in Molesana's.

I then walked slowly and cooly into the day light.
Then the credits rolled.

The end.

So how was I at school if i was kidnapped? That's another epic story of epic porportions for another time.

The week.

2008-09-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

I guess i'll sum up this week for you.

on Tuesday, I was kidnapped by somebody. He just came up to me when I was shopping at Victoria's Secret and got knocked me out with a baseball bat. When I woke up, i was in a dark room with 5 other people. One Asian person, another Asian person, another Asian person, another Asian person, and a White sumo wrestler. 2 girls, 2 boys, and a transsexual(no offense to them of course), who was the sumo wrestler. When we all woke up, a scary voice from above said: "Welcome guests. You were brought here because I'm filthy rich and bored. Who wants to play a game? You will notice that on your necks you are wearing collars. They will explode in the next 12 hours. Escape here, and it will be deactivated. There are 3 levels to this game. each getting more and more bloody...." and you know, the basic evil guy speech. Somebody then yelled "Isn't this against the law?" He said "Screw the law, I have money!!" We cried.

Level 1
So level one turned out to be a a real life version of snake and ladders. There was a giant dice in the middle, real ladders, and snakes that are OVER 9001 feet long. There were 100 squares in over 50 platforms. I was first. the giant dice rolled a 6. I landed on a ladder. i climbed to #13. White sumo guy was next. He rolled a 1. He went to square #2. On and on this went with nothing interesting. Until this Asian guy landed on a snake at #36. The snake wound onto him, snapped his arms and his legs in half, and bit into his head. His screams were extremely girly. I was next. i landed on a snake. I was about to suffer the same fate until i had an idea. I told him Pirate jokes. "Why couldn't the pirate watch the movie? Because it was rated ARRRR. Where do pirates go to have fun? The CARRRRNIVAL." I told the snake so many crappy pun jokes that it hit his head against the dice OVER 10 times until it bled and died. Fast forward...1 girl died because she was putting her make up on and lost her balance. The sumo landed on a snake, but killed it with his sumotastic powers. I rolled a 6 and went from 93-99. There was a ladder on 99 that led to 100. 4 of us were left at the end. We entered the door to level 2.

Level 2
There was a huge cage on the other side with hundreds of poor looking people. t here was a rope connected with the latch. the rope went up towards the ceiling, and was connected to some weights. The weights were on a wooden platform which was beside a barrel of gas. There was a rifle with 1 bullet inside as well as 3 tooth picks 1 straw and a pistol with 1 bullet in it for every person for "later use". We had to use the rifle to shoot the barrel to force the cage entrance up. The voice above us told us that the wooden platform will burn up and the weight will bring up the cage door. Then 100 homeless men that had Viagra in them will come and try to rape us for money. We then had to kill all of them using the toothpick, straw, and the pistol.

So the transsexual shot the barrel which burned up the platform, which let the weights fall, which lifted the door up. 100 horny homeless guys swarmed at us. Then the Asian girl and I had a brilliant plan. We attracted attention to the whole lot of homeless guys by my sexy body, while the girl told the transsexual to stand still. I then ran towards the transsexual with 100 homeless guys behind me. The girl and I ran the other way so the homeless guys went for the transsexual. I then used my pistol to shoot the collar on the transsexual's neck and made it explode, killing most of the homeless guys. RIP transsexual(no offense to them again =]). The rest were killed with the remaining pistols and with the Sumo's sumotastic powers. Since we were hungry, we cooked the dead people in the gasoline fire. Yum, cannibalism. We then used the toothpicks to pick our teeth from the meat and the straws to drink the blood. We entered the next level.

Level 3
We entered a room with a tub full of infected angry cats 2x larger than normal.

Since i'm tired from my crappy week, I'll tell the tale of my epic adventure later.
yes.

'Tis a sad day indeed...

2008-09-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Today when I arrived home, I went to check on my fish. To my...horror....one of my fish....DIED. Of all the 7 fish, Chris Jr. had to pass on...
He was the biggest and the fattest of them all. Every morning when I fed them, he's the first one to swim to the surface to prepare to eat. But when I came home, he body was lifeless, cold, and upside down. I brought him outside and dug a nice little hole so I could have a nice funeral for it. I put it's beautiful body in a tiny shoe box put the body in. In the grave, I also put in his favourite food.
I hope you lived a full life. you were the biggest and you ate the most, which is why i dubbed you Chris Jr.

wait...

RIP

Chris Jr.

2006-2008( stole from google...just looks like my fish. )

yes, I actually just threw him into the trash instead of getting my hands dirty, but it's the thought that counts.
right?

Behold...

2008-09-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

behold...
THE MYSTICAL POWER OF THE MAGIC BULLET!!!!!!
You must have seen the infomercials on them. It's like the King, Queen, Prince, Princess, and Castle of infomercials.

exert from website:

Magic Bullet!...This versatile machine will do virtually any job in the kitchen in 10 seconds or less, yet it takes up no more space on your counter than a coffee mug. It's so easy you'll use it every single day of the week!

They freaking lied

vrooom.

disasterous food recipe 1

2008-09-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

I was thirsty one day so i decided to make use of my epic Magic Bullet . Seeing as I still had some frozen strawberries, I decided to make some sort of milkshake.
After I cut the strawberries in half, I added it into the Magic Bullet. I then added some 2 month old vanilla ice cream and a cup or so of milk.
Being the stupid person I was, I looked in my pantry and saw some peanut butter. So using my logic, I concluded that strawberries+peanut butter= PeanutBerry Butter.
1 scoop....2 scoop...3 scoops! I then opened my fridge and saw some chocolate sauce with some cinnimon crap in it that made it taste like cardboard. I added some in too. Then I turned on my Magic Bullet. They say it takes 10 seconds or less to make something. It took 11. I'm ready to sue.

After everything was blended, I poured it into a mug of some sort. It didn't really turn out the way I imagined. Dark brown and thick and smelled sickly like strawberries. I tried oms anyways.
It was like drinking Hippopotamus poo rubbed in maggot infested mud regurgitated from a dying dog. But I drank 3/4 of it an anyways.

Then I threw up. Hip hip, HURRAY.

Today was...fantasmic

2008-09-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today was the most horrible day ever. It started out normally enough. I went to school hung out with my friends. Then I met the most beautiful girl ever. She had sleed black hair that went up to her shoulders, and the most gorgeous green eyes. I wanted to know her. When I approached her, it was an instant attraction.
Wow, she liked the same things I did! I liked games, she liked games. I liked TV, she liked TV. I like Pikachu, She liked Bonsly...
Anyways, we then decided to skip school and hang out. We laughed and talked and did things I thought only existed on TV. We first frolicked in a field of flowers, then we went on a romantic swan boat ride, then a random Italian chef gave us a plate of spaghetti for us to share! But then she was allergic to red sauce and had an allergic reaction. So i gave her CPR, etc etc, and TA DA, she was alive again!
sometime in the afternoon, we were in the most romantic park with violins and grand pianos playing in the background when she tried to seduce me. She whispered my name right in my ear and touched me in places I would not normally be touched. My hand. She actually touched my hand...! I would've gave into her ways, if I didn't see the evil in her eyes. I then head butted her. She then hissed and turned to something that looked stangely like this...

but much MUCH more evilll. Was she a witch? So then sent out my Pikachu and used thnder bolt. Damn, not very affective. She then used some sort of fire attack that killed my Pikachu. So I grabbed a sword that i found conviently on the ground and plunged it into her heart. or was it the liver?
Before she died, she said this: "you just got taken in by the Prank Patrol..." and became still and disintegrate into the wind. In summary, I get to be on TV, I met this beautiful girl who turned out to be a witch of some sort who was hired by the Prank Patrol who tried to kill me who I killed.

Great horrible day, huh?

cats.

2008-09-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

So. So. Cats. Wonderous wonderous cats. Also known as 'Neko' in the Japanese language. Also known as 'Maow' in the Cantonese. Yes, cats. Why do i love cats so much? how about i tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, i was walking home from the child labour sweat shop when i came upon a cat. it was purple. Now i've never seen a purple cat before, so i decided to take it home and keep it as a pet. But what do you know, it was one fiesty cat. It would run away from me whenever i approached it, and "nyah'd" at me when I chased after it. So one day, I devised a plan of epic porportions. I grabbed the biggest mouse, I mean Cat, trap I can find, and put a can of Fancy Feasts on it. I mean, who the hell can resist Fancy Feasts? HELL, I CAN'T EVEN. It's made with real meat and fish and cats. That's like a medium rare steak for god sakes. Anyways, after the trap was set up, I put it on the sidewalk so the cat would eat it. The I remembered that i wanted to keep it, not kill it. I ran to remove it, but I was too late. The purple cat was dead. I knelt by it's pancake'd body and wept until my eyes bled. Then I had a idea of epic porportions. I grabbed the dead body, threw it in the dumpster, went home, and grabbed my remote. I pointed the remote at myself, and pressed the 'rewind' button. Just like that, I travelled back in time, to the time where I set the trap up. No, it was the time right before the cat lept into the trap. Time slowed down. My heart beat went crazy. I leapt after the cat. The beloved purple cat. 5 feet away; damn, i won't make it. 3 feet; noo, not fast enough. 1 feet; crap, it's too late. Then I had a brilliant idea. I pulled out my remote, and hot fast forward. It worked. I sped up to the speed of a nuclear explosion, and I grabbed the cat by the tail 0.0000000000000001 mm away from the trap. Close call. I then craddled the cat in my arms. It bit me. I felt it's sharp fangs sink into my skin, my flesh. I ran hom as quickly as possible, and treated my wound. I then diciplined the cat by spanking it 10 times and threatened to neuter it(they can be, right?). At last, I stared into it's deep, piercing, violet eyes. It was like looking into the lonely eyes of a purple cat. Then it scratched me. It flippin' hurt.
So, the moral of the story is not to get scratched by a cat. or bitten. And that is exactly why i love cats. especially the purple kind.
Oh, and Fancy Feasts look pretty good. Too bad i don't have a cat (omg, hypocrisy. I think.)

the beginning of the end

2008-09-13T18:42:00.001-07:00

here chris, i hope you like it!
- le hime.